Ways to deal with a suicidal person

THE EDITOR: It has been said that suicide is “the coward’s way out” of his problems. Yet it continues to be a problem, and a major one at that, for today’s society. Several reasons have been advanced as to why people kill themselves, and several theories propounded for dealing with it, but the only thing one can really do to prevent someone taking his own life is give him back a solid reason for his continuing to live. This calls for genuine, concerted effort at removing the primary cause of the loss of his desire to live.

1. Unrequited love: This means that someone has been in love, or involved in a relationship, with a person who has not returned that love. This usually follows a break-up or a falling out between lovers or even among family members. Such a person does not need to hear “There’s plenty fish in the sea,” callous, insensitive platitudes like that would only exacerbate the situation. What he really needs is to see that someone does genuinely love him and is willing and able to repair the loss. Of course, the best and most fortunate event would be if such an individual were to replace the lost lover!

2. Loneliness: A lonely person is someone who has had few or no friends or social contacts over a long period. Such an individual can feel that he is of no value to anyone, that his existence and whatever he does don’t matter at all. We can rid him of this feeling, and of the emptiness that comes with it, by genuinely reaching out to him, by really befriending him, by showing him that we value both him as a person and his company. His seeing that somebody really cares about him will do much to enhance and enrich his life.

3. Unemployment/loss of employment: Someone who has lost his job or is “unemployable” may suffer from low self-esteem as a result. He may feel useless, having nothing to offer to society or to the world. What such a persons needs is someone who will appreciate him and his abilities and commend him for them. This will go far towards giving him the confidence and self-worth to cultivate and hone them. It will also give him that vital quality of self-respect. He should be helped to gain employment, or given a job, by someone acquainted with him who has the power to do that.

4. Terminal illness: Untold hours of unrelenting pain and suffering can produce a frustration and a despair that are amplified ten-fold by the knowledge that they will never be relieved or ended. The Bible can help here. Careful consideration of Scriptures such as Matt 6:10 and Rev 21:4 will add to the fortitude of the terminally ill person, giving him at least some genuine solace at this critical point of his life. In this narcissistic, hedonistic, and materialistic generation of imperfect beings pursuing perfection to the point of forming unrealistic expectations and making unreasonable demands of their fellowmen, these considerations are often ignored. They will, however, go much further towards reducing the number of, if not stopping, suicides than protracted, fulsome wailing and eulogies at funerals and the hypocrisy of condemning suicides while driving people to kill themselves.

D CHARLES
Carenage