Go get them, Mr Snaggs

THE EDITOR: I listened with great interest yesterday as our new Acting Commissioner of Police announced his plans to deal with the group of “disabled” persons who have camped outside the National Flour Mills compound to highlight their plight. Three times in a short interview, the esteemed gentleman was at pains to point out that these persons were committing a serious offence where they are — blocking the sidewalk. Well, I agree with you sir. I strongly recommend that you bring the full force of your resources to bear on these miscreants. Imagine, in broad daylight, they are prepared to defy the authorities and obstruct the free passage of thousands of persons who walk past Flour Mills everyday. Law-abiding persons are forced to step to the edge of the broken, ill-maintained sidewalk, no doubt risking serious injury at the hands of the motorists who may be flying past at just 10 to 20 mph above the speed limit.

Go get them, Mr Snaggs and make sure that your men properly search their wheelchairs and crutches for the arms and ammunition with which they are planning to take over the government and check the tent. There are still a few kidnap victims unaccounted for. These criminals must know that you are serious about ridding our society of these heinous crimes. I suggest that you send the female officer who man-handled them recently — being intellectually-challenged herself, she would be very efficient in her zeal to save our society. I have also heard, sir, that under the pavement on which they ptiched their tent there is a cache of cocaine which they brought in to finance their fight. Don’t let them fool you, Mr Snaggs. Those helpless expressions and pleas for consideration and fair treatment and genuine opportunities at education and employment are all just ploys to get you to lower your defences.

As soon as you drop your guard they will pounce. The public will be shocked to see them running along Wrightson Road, commandeering vehicles, leaping the walls of unsuspecting citizens as they head for White Hall and Police headquarters. We know, sir, that this time you will hold your posts and defend them with your lives against the onslaught from these misguided retards. When crutches are unfolded into GPMG’s and innocent-looking hops-bread turn out to be lethal grenades, we will sing your praises.
“Thank you, Everald,”
“You’re the man!”
“Mow them down”
Once again we will be able to walk free in a safe society, stay out late at night, let our children lime, trust our policemen and politicians. Life will be good once more. You would have rid the society of a threat more potent that the Taliban.

APOESHO MUTOPE
Tunapuna

P.S. If you have some time after this exercise, sir, I would like to tell you about a shipment of drugs and guns I heard about the other night. Call me, nuh.