To keep edge, negotiate power

Women negotiate every day, whether we realise it or not.  Mothers negotiate with their children over the eating of vegetables, women in the corporate world negotiate for the best possible deal on behalf of their companies, entrepreneurial women negotiate with clients, suppliers...the negotiations are endless. And women, because most of us are natural communicators, are blessed with above-average negotiating skills — once we’re not negotiating for ourselves. AFETT’s US-based affiliate organisation, The National Association of Female Executives (NAFE), recently completed a survey in which women were asked to rate their effectiveness in negotiating for salary.  The results were eye opening. Although women considered themselves competent and effective in their jobs, only 35% of respondents felt they negotiated well for themselves. “Negotiating for salary is a complicated issue for women,” says Dr. Deborah Cobb, co-author of Everyday Negotiation: Navigating the Hidden Agendas of Bargaining.  She believes that negotiations about money raise issues of self-worth that can get in the way of effective self-advocacy.

A sock and pencil story

Women, especially Carib-bean women, have been socialised to be polite, accommodating and of course, nice.  Nice means we don’t ruffle anyone’s feathers, don’t challenge the status quo.  There was a recently aired documentary in which young boys and girls and later, students at Columbia University, were tested to determine early socialisation attitudes and if these attitudes could affect earning power in later life. 

In one test, the boys and girls were asked to pick a present from a bin — anything they wanted.  The presents were beautifully wrapped in bright paper, some in huge boxes, some in smaller ones.  They each grabbed the outer wrapping that suited their fancy, but when the presents were opened, the children each got one sock and a pencil.  When the boys were asked what they thought of their gifts, the common reaction was an indignant “What am I supposed to do with a sock and a pencil?”  The girls, on the other hand, smiled prettily and graciously said, “Thank you...it’s lovely,” despite their obvious disappointment.  This over-extended effort to please is not so different when compared with female behaviour in the workplace.  If an offer was put on the table at a job interview or a contract negotiation, many of us (women) would smile and take it without question (whether or not we were satisfied), rather than view it as a jumping-off point for negotiations.
 
Be competitive just to stay in the race

Lara Quentrall-Thomas, Managing Director of Regency Recruitment, (the majority of their job candidates are women) explains it this way:  “Women are sometimes less clear about their career goals.  If you ask them where they want to be professionally, it’s evident that they are more open to options, more flexible.  They’re open to a wider salary range.  Men, on the other hand, are more specific - they want a certain position and they know what they expect to be paid for it.”   

Of course, the more qualified and experienced a woman is, the more secure she feels about making salary demands. Quentrall-Thomas maintains that professional women are doing a lot more study than their male counterparts. She feels that because women are generally resilient and adapt so well to change, they embrace the concept of lifetime learning.  Women are also keenly aware that they must remain competitive just to stay in the race - perhaps more so than men.  Smart women know what they’re worth and are unafraid to negotiate for it. But is that a guarantee that the smart woman gets what she wants?  Not always. Quite often, women don’t anticipate the surprises that inevitably pop up during the negotiation process.  Women need to be prepared for every eventuality — it’s what boys are taught in Boy Scouts — coincidence then, that men traditionally earn more than women?  Sometimes the glass ceiling may be to blame for the discrepancy in men and women’s salaries (in which case we need to ask ourselves whether a company that operates under that premise is right for us), but often men come out on top in salary negotiations because they understand how to handle the unexpected.  It is skill women can learn.

Women, do your homework

First, do your research.  Gather information.  You would do it if you were making a presentation or  selling an idea. So why not when negotiating a fair deal for yourself?  If you’re talking salary with your employer, find out what your predecessor was paid and what benefits she received.  Are you an entrepreneur negotiating for a project?  Find out the going industry rates.  You are not being unreasonable when you ask to be paid what you’re worth. There’s an excellent book by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements, the first of which is “Don’t take anything personally.”  It makes sense if you think about it. People react to you in accordance with their issues and belief system, yet many of us tend to personalize things to such a degree that it immobilises us.  In business it is no different. The NAFE survey found that women had difficulty viewing negotiations as strictly business.  Especially if the process failed to yield the results they were hoping for, women took this as a personal affront - a message that they were not smart enough, competent enough, good enough.  This was a particularly common reaction among younger and even older women, whereas those in their 30s most tended to depersonalise results. 

When examining salary discrepancies between wom-en and their male counterparts, it is important to understand that career goals are more often than not, different for the two sexes.  Men tend to have a “show me the money” type of approach to remuneration packages, whereas women value other benefits such as flexibility, time off, an unbeatable health plan. Looking only at net salary may therefore not be an accurate reflection of the depth of the negotiation.  Quentrall-Thomas maintains that being well educated, well qualified in your field is the key bargaining chip in negotiating for yourself.  “While you shouldn’t accept less than you’re worth, you also need to be realistic — that means finding out what your peers are being paid so even if you’re not planning to leave your company, you can determine whether or not you’re being paid fairly for the work you do.”  In the end, though, the only thing that can truly determine negotiation success is how happy you are at the end of the day — if you feel properly compensated, valued, productive and eager to start the next day’s work.

Janine Mendes-Franco is a Communications Specialist and current President-Elect  of The Association of Female Executives for the year 2004- 2005

The views expressed in this column are not necessarily those of Guardian Life. You are invited to send your comments to guardianlife@ghl.co.tt