Finding the right alignment

You have to check your agreements, alignments and addictions if you want to achieve personal growth. And always ask for what you want! So said international motivational speaker and best selling author, Iyanla Vanzant at the 10th Anniversary Breakfast Seminar, hosted by Elder Associates Limited, to a sold out audience at the Hilton and a live radio audience via I95.5FM recently. When you listen to Iyanla, you either want to raise your hand, nod your head, cry, laugh but most certainly you want to think. Think about your life’s value systems, your personal choices and your future decisions.

Perhaps, she touches an emotional chord or fundamentals that you already hold dear, or maybe somewhere in between all the anecdotes and stories, there is that something that gives you an ‘aha’ moment. One thing for sure is that when you listen to Iyanla, you just cannot remain unmoved.
The underlying thinking behind the theme “Personal Change, National Success, Caribbean Prosperity” - the theme of the Breakfast Seminar - is that for change to take place at the national and regional level, it must begin with the individual. The individual takes responsibility for his or her space and creates pockets of positive actions that ripple throughout society. As that movement of positive action of one moves through offices, schools, homes and communities, it will inevitably take root in the nation as a whole. The combined effect of each individual action in each Caribbean territory creates a tidal wave of prosperity across the region.

But according to Vanzant, in order to achieve prosperity, change must begin from within, with the agreements that we make, silently and unconsciously for ourselves. Many of us make personal agreements to remain poor, because we are afraid of power or don’t think we deserve it. She suggests that we make these silent negative agreements by “watching what is going on in our lives and accepting it.” We need to ask for what we want and what we believe we deserve. How many times have we held back in asking for what we wanted such as that top job or major contract because we believed that the deciding person “must know our worth.” Well, how would they, if you don’t go out and ask for it? How many times have we said the words “that’s not my business” or “somebody else will take care of that?” Have we silently made agreements with ourselves that we will tolerate crime, injustice and abuse in our community, as long as it doesn’t really directly interfere with neat little lives?

Next, Iyanla speaks of alignment. Ever thought about the fact that with whom and what you aligned yourself could make that much of a difference to you achieving your life’s goals and ambitions. According to Vanzant, if we want to be successful, we must align ourselves with successful people. If we want to be rich, at least one of our friends should be rich.  If you want that career job, align your self with developmental courses. And if you want to be married, have at least one married person in your circle of friends! Still trying to figure that one out! Clearly a deeply spiritual person, Vanzant states that we need to align ourselves with our prayers. But be careful for what we pray. “Don’t pray for a husband.... He’s already married! Pray for a single available man!”

Finally, in speaking about her third “A” - addiction, Vanzant believes that many of us are addicted to circumstances, situations and people in our lives that have no specific uplifting purpose in our life. Indeed, she suggests many of us are - and my hand slowly moves up into the air - addicted to drama. Some of us are addicted to poverty and I dare say several of us are addicted to toxic people. The idea, though, is that we must get rid of negative toxic people in our lives, and discard negative toxic situations and thought patterns. Having worked for over a year with Dr Patricia Elder and her team at Elder Associates Limited on bringing Iyanla Vanzant to the people of Trinidad & Tobago, it was certainly a proud moment to see our dreams convert to reality. But it was even more fulfilling to receive the motivational and inspiring messages that for a woman, a mother and businessperson made me want to step out even further beyond the boundary and create that ripple of change that could ultimately transform our society. Now, what are you doing about it?

The views expressed in this column are not necessarily those of Guardian Life. You are invited to send your comments to guardianlife@ghl.co.tt