Developing a ‘forring’ language

THE EDITOR: In view of the fast tracking of our approach to 2020 nirvana, I wish to make a suggestion or two as my contribution so as not to appear to be left back because I am too dumb. The first one is officially change the names of certain towns and villages so as to accommodate our television and radio news readers who will fit in and not look as if they had been educated during the August holidays. We can start with Sangre Grande; a certain TV6 star girl who reads the news and numerous radio counterparts cannot help themselves saying Sandy Grandy, over and over again. Then we have Manzanilla that must be changed to Manzalina to give credibility to almost everyone who has been a little undereducated.

If we must be called intelligent by 2020, we cannot have people mispronouncing the christened names of our little villages and wherevers. So, Corinth Village will have to be changed to Current Village, San Juan to Sa War, Longdenville to Londonville, Point Fortin to Point Fonteh and the most classical Tacarigua to Tagariqua. This last one is a must for all those radio announcers with fresh-water “forring” accent. While we are at it we can shorten a few for the ones who cannot be bothered to pronounce long names. We can change San Fernando to Sando and Fyzabad to Fyzo and take suggestions for others.

After all, “furrinners” must be able to know where the announcers are speaking about when they listen to our much-touted news on the Internet etc. And we are certainly showing how prepared we are to face this great year of our targeted miraculous plunge into smartness and heavenic living. We must move swiftly to supervise our “schools of broadcasting and announcing-local branches” before they change around all the English words into a total new language altogether and before we apply to the world for permission to practise a new language. And then there are the privileged few announcers who actually went and spent a few days in an academy abroad. They come back with expressions like “good afternoon” and such like, just to let us know. Hoping I have made a meaningful contribution.

BEVERLY ADAMS
San Fernando