Wife recalls 38 years of abuse

FOR the entire 38 years of her life, Hilary Narine said she has never known any kind of happiness.

She was a victim of abuse while young and the abuse continued when she got married to Solomon Narine and they began to have children.

He battered, kicked and abused her even when she was pregnant. He threatened to kill her, and she lived her life giving the public the appearance of being an ordinary housewife when she had no idea, the time or day when her husband would take her life.

With tears in her eyes she cried, “my whole life has been one of hell.” When she could take the abuse and threats no longer, she took a knife and killed her husband before he could kill her.

On Tuesday, she was freed of the murder and placed on a bond, when Justice Anthony Carmona made the statement that the women of this country are under siege.

Yesterday at her home in Mathura, Hilary was reunited with her children and began to try to put her life together again. With tears in her eyes, Hilary said that even though she killed her husband, she still loved him.

Surrounded by some of her children and other relatives, she recalled the horror of her life with an abusive husband.

Despite reports to the police about earlier abuse, Hilary said yesterday no one was ever arrested.

The mother of ten first got into a common-law relationship with the father of four of her children when she was 16 years old but she said, “things did not work out. The relationship ended and I was separated from my four children and went back to my mother’s home in Balandra.”

A few years later, she said, she got married to Solomon Narine, a Grenadian woodcutter, whom she met while he was cutting logs near her home.

Hilary recalled those bitter-sweet days of struggling to love her husband even though he had developed a drinking problem which turned him into a beast.

“I loved my husband and after we had two children, Princess and Crystal, he told me it was time to stop having children.” They however had four more children together. “I thought that by having children for him, he would realise that I loved him,” she said. “Whenever he got drunk he would be abusive and threatened to kill me.” She said they sought counselling and things became better for awhile.

She said her husband attended the Alcoholics Anonymous clinic in Sangre Grande and for a short while, his behaviour towards her improved. However, this was shortlived.

“But I continued to love him inspite of what he was doing. I kept hoping for a change and stuck with him until I could not take the pressure anymore and did what I did,” Narine said.

Recalling that fateful night on April 4, 2004, Hilary told Newsday that her husband drank a bottle of rum and returned home looking for food. He threatened her with a knife before he went to bed. It was at that point, while he slept, that she stabbed him.

Hilary said she now wants to move on with her life and make a proper home for her children, who witnessed and were very affected by the way she was abused by their father.

She said her mother had taken care of the children for the two years that she was in jail and she now wants to gather them all around her and start life for them again.

She said that she is looking for a job and is hoping to get work so she can repair and improve her house.

“One of my children said to me yesterday, ‘thank God mom is home, so we can now have a Mother’s Day’,” Narine said.

Terry Rondon, Vice Chairman of the Sangre Grande Regional Corporation yesterday assisted the family by giving food and clothing. He promised to assist them further in having her home repaired and also providing a job for her.

Hilary said while she will never forget her sufferings of the past, from now on, she looks forward to a bright future.

Yesterday, Diana Mahabir Wyatt, well-known activist on the issue of domestic abuse, said there were options for women caught up in such an abusive life but the best thing they could do, is to leave.

She said that one of the main things this country needs, is for strong men to stand up and look at what is happening, because their mothers or sisters could be victims in similar situations.