Respond if you please

I was recently invited to an event, where the host issued invitations, with an RSVP attached. The host made it her business to ensure a number was assigned for the guests to call in to confirm their acceptance of the invitation. Up to the day before the event, only three persons had the decorum to respond and confirm their attendance. To make matters worse, on the day of the event, some of the guests had the audacity to arrive with additional persons in their party who were NOT invited guests. Not only is such behaviour uncouth, but it may lead to a number of unpleasant scenarios for both host and guest.

In today’s event spaces, we have also seen the emergence of the RSVP – Regrets only line. This simply means that you are to respond ONLY if you are NOT attending the event. Essentially, if you do not respond, that automatically means you will be attending the event, and all necessary arrangements will be made to accommodate you. For the purpose of making this a bit easier, let us break down the science of the RSVP. For less formal events, many times you may only see the initials RSVP, with a telephone number; simply call in to confirm your position. Please make sure you speak with a human, as simply leaving a message may be tricky. Utilizing electronic mail technology is also acceptable.

Formal events usually are accompanied by a response card. Simply fill in the card and reply by the date indicated on the card and return in an enclosed envelope. If no response card is included in the invitation, and there is no stated telephone number [which might be unusual], a handwritten note that is returned by mail, with your response is acceptable. If you have received an invitation and no reply is requested, it is still, polite to advise of your intentions. This level of decorum is applicable across the board – meaning, it applies to everyone!

I am well aware that many may perceive this discussion as somewhat within the ‘Baby Boomer’ generation, however, being very far outside of that generation myself, I am still a firm believer that decorum never goes out of style. I have heard the dictum about the ‘death of the RSVP.’ However, simply consider the death of the relationship or friendship, should you be invited to an event, and choose not to bother to respond, be it an acceptance or declining the invitation – knowingly placing your host in a position of not knowing how to plan.

The RSVP is vitally important because it provides the host with pertinent information as to budgeting, catering, security, seating, timelines, guest management, amongst other areas of event planning. It is essential that we understand these elements and the significance of alerting our host to assist with their planning. Of course, for more business savvy hosts and events, usually an event planner is contracted to effectively manage the guest list and RSVP by supporting with contacting invited guests. This is acceptable for corporate events.