House dressings in style

AS Prime Minister Patrick Manning was reading his Cabinet reshuffle speech in Parliament last Friday, MP John Rahael seated obliquely behind Manning, started to sniffle and cough, even turning red in the face. “Minister John Rahael is now the Minister of Health,” announced Mr Manning a few minutes later. The Lower House started right on time, with most of the Opposition MPs looking more well-groomed than usual, perhaps because the proceedings were being carried live. Even St Augustine MP Winston Dookeran, whose tall and bulky frame makes him seem disheveled even when he is not, looked primped in a moss-green suit. On the Government side, Camille Robinson-Regis, who normally wears loose and flowing outfits to Parliament, wore a knee-length skirt, suit and braids.

Later, Robinson-Regis would be unable to contain her proud smile when Mr Manning announced that she was the new Planning Minister. (Indeed, before the Prime Minister came into the Chamber shortly before four o’ clock, Robinson-Regis sat in his chair for about ten minutes.) But that moment was still two-and-a-half hours ahead. As soon as the usual prayer and announcements were completed, the House hiccuped: parliamentary secretary Anthony Roberts, who was supposed to talk about an amendment to the Firearms Act in lieu of the National Security Minister, was nowhere to be found. “Man presenting a Bill and he walk out?” said Chief Whip Ganga Singh caustically. Speaker Barry Sinanan called a ten-minute recess and when the House reconvened at 1.40 pm, Roberts apologized for any inconvenience his absence might have caused. He did not, however, appear too regretful. At four o’ clock, Mr Manning would announce that Roberts had been elevated to the post of Minister of State (ie someone who collects a

Ministerial salary but doesn’t sit in Cabinet or have the responsibilities of a Government Minister). So Roberts’s speech on Friday was, de facto if not de jure, his maiden speech as a Minister. He started off by responding to a contribution on the same amendment made by Opposition MP Gillian Lucky at a previous sitting. “She was right when she gave the meaning of ‘holistic’,” he said. “It means ‘comprehensive’ and I agree with her.” This proved that Roberts had not been late because he was consulting the Oxford English Dictionary, which defines ‘holism’ as “the theory that certain wholes are greater than the sum of their parts” and ‘comprehensive’ as “including or dealing with all or nearly all aspects of something”. So Ganga Singh’s response to Roberts’s next sentence was right on the button. Roberts said, “I want to take some time to sorta explain to members of the other side what is meant by ‘holistic’ as a good teacher would with slow learners.” “Send us to COSTAATT,” suggested Singh. Undeterred, Roberts spoke for another 20 minutes, while nobody either on the Government or the Opposition benches paid any attention to him.

Public Utilities Minister Rennie Dumas spoke next on an amendment to the Postal Corporation Act, which Ganga Singh took as an opportunity to sing the praises of the UNC administration which had brought in TTPost but, seeming as if he was caught in a glitch in The Matrix, strained to describe this measure as a ‘blockbuster’ and affected concern about how the PNM administration would handle the ‘sequel’. While he was speaking, Opposition Leader Basdeo Panday entered the Chamber and, so as not to interrupt Singh, sat on the back bench next to his brother Subhas. “Like he reshuffle heself,” remarked one photographer in the media gallery. Next on the Order Paper was an amendment to the Lotteries Board Act. Continually calling the NLCB the ‘NCLB’ Singh took the opportunity to draw a line between NLCB chairman and PNM activist Louis Lee Sing and NAEAP chairman Selwyn Cudjoe. The NLCB had helped fund Cudjoe’s last book and when, in response to some crosstalk Leader of Government business Ken Valley said he hadn’t read it, Singh said, “I’m glad you don’t read Cudjoe. You have no time for that racist bigotry.” While Singh was speaking, MP Colm Imbert walked in, sporting his usual toothy grin, and sat next to backbencher Lawrence Achong. Imbert was to lose the Health portfolio and be given Science, Technology and Tertiary Education instead. It was a few minutes after that the torpor of the House was broken when, as Singh was citing figures to show that MP Keith Rowley had misled the House about enrolment at the John Donaldson Technical Institute, Opposition MP Kelvin Ramnath called out that Rowley was a liar.

Speaker Barry Sinanan immediately got to his feet, telling Ramnath that that was not proper. “We’ve been called liars in this house a hundred times,” said Panday, to which Sinanan barked irritably, “Member for Couva North, please!” “Don’t you shout at me!” Panday responded and when Sinanan, now visibly angry, said, “Are you threatening the Speaker?” Panday hissed back, “Yes!” This led to a ten-minute suspension of the House, for the Speaker to consult with the House leaders. Keith Rowley came in at 3.37 pm, looking self-possessed as usual. When the Speaker came back two minutes later, everyone except Panday stood up. Sinanan said he would not take action against Panday in light of the latter’s long years as a Parliamentarian. “Don’t patronise me!” Panday snarled. It was now coming to four and, although Manning was already seated, Opposition MP Nizam Mohammed got up to speak on the evils of gambling. He began by quoting from the Qu’ran to show that Allah thought gambling was wrong, and added that since this wasn’t an Islamic society people didn’t have to follow the injunction. The Naparima MP managed to talk in this vein for less than five minutes before Valley rose to remind the Speaker that the Prime Minister had a statement to make. Mohammed took his demure seat, and everyone finally started paying attention to the business of the House.