Money: The sum of all fears

Many people are afraid of money, especially their money. Think about it, when was the last time you were at a dinner party and everyone was talking about how much money they had, or didn’t have? Probably not very recently. While we as a society have discovered that it’s permissible to talk about the neighbour’s divorce, your sister’s therapy sessions, or your grandfather’s bout with cancer, no one feels it’s alright to talk about their financial situation. And, sure, maybe it’s not the best idea to brag about how much money you’ve saved or that you have thousands of dollars in outstanding credit card debt, but you’d be surprised at how many people feel the same way or are in the same situation.

Facing your fears about money is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do. But what exactly are you so afraid of? Losing all your money? Not being able to afford those material things your friends can? Not having enough? And how much is enough money, anyway? In order to get control of your money and realise your goal of being comfortable, you need to know where you are starting from, and get hold of your fears. Sometimes our fear of money is directly linked to a past action that drives us. For instance, when you were young did you get an allowance? What did you do with this money? Save it or spend it? Does your reaction to your allowance connect with your reaction to your current salary? In other words, do you still find it hard to part with your money, or are you spending it the minute you get it? By identifying your money habits, it becomes easier to change the bad habits. Of course, fear may drive you away from even looking at your financial habits.

The only way to eradicate your fear is to replace it with positive thoughts. Think about what your goals are. Then think about what your deepest financial fear is. Do you want to retire early, but are afraid that if you do you will run out of money before you die? Or perhaps you want to have a beach house, but feel that if you buy one you are being selfish and that you don’t deserve it. No matter what your goals are, your fears can override them to the point that you become too paralyzed to try and achieve your goals. Ultimately, you need to overcome your fears to realise your dreams.

Money is also deeply tied to our emotions and is a prime motivator of our behaviour. Our self-images are directly affected by the amount of money we have or don’t have. Try to become aware of your attitudes toward money. Once you have ascertained how you react to money, and what drives you, you will be able to increase your chances of becoming comfortable or well off. Your personal money management style will dictate the way you handle money now and in the future. You need to realise what your style is so that you may better harness and use it.

Ask yourself some questions about your actions and feelings. Is money important to you? How important? Do you feel guilty when you spend money? Do you find that you spend money until your credit card is rejected, or until you have no more money in your wallet? Are you a risk taker? When you look at your bank account balance, how do you feel? How much money do you think you need to feel secure? How much money do you spend on a monthly basis? By asking yourself these questions, you will be on the way to achieving your goals. However, the next step is to answer the questions honestly. That’s where our fears come back into play. Take the last question, for instance. I ask all my clients to prepare a cash flow statement for me. If you were to estimate how much money you spend monthly, and then compare it to the actual amount, which number would be bigger? You may find that you are spending more money each month than you thought. How does that make you feel? Are you afraid that you won’t be able to cover your bills? Or, do you feel relieved that you now know what you are truly spending?

Write down what your goals and fears are. Come up with a positive statement about how you will reach your goals, thus crushing your fears. Although much has been said about the power of positive thinking, the effects cannot be denied. The more positive your outlook, the more good will come your way. Think about it. The last time you were in a bad mood, did you affect those around you so their moods turned sour, too? Similarly, when you smile at people, the more likely they are to smile back at you. The more positive your thoughts are about money, the more good things will happen. One more thing, it’s important to remember that fears come in different forms than just self-doubt. Many times family members or loved ones will instill doubt in us. This may come in the form of “Why do you think you can do that?” or other statements along those lines. Whatever the reason for these statements, don’t let them discourage you. Only you can change the way you think. Keep a smile on your face and a glint in your eye, because you can become as wealthy as you want to be. By having a more positive outlook, you may see a change in them too.