Scary TV guide for sports fans

Dancing Brave has a lot of balls: gold and orange striped footballs that will fly like kited cheques as in the Football World Cup; and orange basketballs whose pigmented leather was hard to grip in the National Basketball Association. There were dark blue pucks held over from hockey, smart little slabs of rubber that look alarmingly like those urinal disinfectant cakes. So what follows is about the boldness of the Brave One, and may lead some to think that dare we say it, Vigara has gone to the head of the bravest brave. This leads to our Sporting TV Guide — When and where to watch or listen to your favourite sports event, even when you are sick.
 
VIGARA SPORTS 1 —
7 pm — Trinidad and Tobago Cricket Board of Control meeting — a lot of talk about energy and strength in all arguments on the weekend to get as much to go in Trinidad way as possible.
8 pm — World Wrestling Cricket style — Ringside mayhem from the opposing factions in cricket in Trinidad, with the Incredible Hulk under pressure.
9 pm — Regional Sports Digest — No cricket to be aired until the next elections for the presidency of TTCB.
10 pm — Sporting lies, half-truths and innuendoes — Hosted by the Trinidad Express with some help from a few friends who are all looking very blue. Please note there are not many viewers and no advertisers are interested.
10.30 pm — Sporting Bites — Approach your sporting official carefully to avoid getting bitten, maybe even get a muzzle. If you are bitten by the words from the Hampton promises, do not use the tourniquets at the stadium. Instead seek professional care, and call the present army, not old major generals.
11 pm — Riding bareback can affect the horse — Not for users of Vigara, who fail to saddle their mounts and leave marks on the skin, that not even pure cocoa butter can remove. Do not allow anyone to ride your horse without a saddle (whether or not he is on Vigara tonight), even if they have a loaded gun.
12.30 pm — Sporting Blanks — There is need to test our winners on Saturdays for Vigara, with some owners getting confused with all the tablets on their night stands.
1.30 pm — After hours with a horseman — Certain well-bred colts seem not to be interested in breeding and they need to be encouraged, even if the side effect is that they want to mate whole day, anytime, anywhere and anything.
 
EXCEDRIN SPORTS CHANNEL 6
5 am — Aerobics Style — Dance with the West Indies Cricket Board early in the morning as they get their way and nominate their own ilk to the various committees. You can drink a Red Stripe Beer and eat a Jamaican patty.
6 am — Inside the Senior tour — Play golf with all the wealthy foreigners who are taking hours to get around an 18-hole. Your children will laugh, it will be better than any cartoon.
7 am — Football League Review — Watch Dwight Yorke behave courteous and share jokes and smile with the British Media, then switch to the local media and local football and poster around with arrogance about the state of football.
8 am — Racing News — Hosted by Dancing Brave and where the tone of the series will be on the forgotten men in racing, the grooms, the office staff, cleaners and many small punters.
9 am — Sports Unlimited — Where muscular aches are discussed by the bodybuilders after taking their nutrients behind a screen. Some guys are seen to be overly zealous and others look very strange, almost cokey eye.
10 am — Schoolboy cricket — The southerners seem to have all the luck with the decisions of the umpires and the other schoolboys want to go on their own.
11 am — Taekwondo blues — Former champ discusses the arthritis pain, that caused him to lose his bearing and lose a match he should have won at Caribbean Championships over six years ago. He is seen using Excedrin as a means of helping the problem.
12 pm — Fishing — About one angler beating another, all seeking weight, but a lot of them suffering from their sinusitis, as the seas react to the lost souls, with still many unanswered questions from St Vincent in 1997.
SIGN OFF — As all are now sleeping from the tablets received when you sign on early.
 DIARRHOEA TERRESTRIAL TV 2
1.30 pm — National Athletics News and dues  — Interrupted by investigators from the Board of Inland Revenue who are there to investigate some reports they have heard.
2.30 pm — Dwight is a Blight — Replays of the “diarrhoea” Dwight constantly messing up things over and over for Trinidad, whether it is in the World Cup, the Gold Cup and the Shell Caribbean Cup. Nw with Blackburn Rovers, there is not much going on.
3.30 pm — Ringside Boxing — Claude Noel, now baldheaded, steps back into the ring against another former World Boxing Champion, Leslie “Tiger’ Stewart.” However in a shock-delaying tactic, Stewart pulls out, citing other commitments. His destiny with the legal system can only be redeemed by him.
4.30 pm — A Question of Sport — An all-female programme, hosted by bikini clad blondes who are brainless, but have good companions on the screen with those in basketball, swimming and athletics.
5.30 pm — Surfing — Not the net, but instead described as a sport for the rich, famous and white on Sundays in Trinidad.
6.30 pm — Tobago Skating — Staged in Tobago, at the home of the Minister of Sport, who has to skate her way around and through a lot of questions.
7.30 pm — Cycling Woes — Gene Samuel on dedication, discipline, maturity and character building, unfortunately not on house building as the Government continues to drag its feet after another sportsman.

BLEEDING HEARTS CHANNEL 4
 2 am — Live Tennis 1 — Dexter St Louis says the real reason he in Trinidad, is because there are racial problems in Europe , but he still loves France.
2.45 am — Live Tennis 2 — Former Lawn Tennis executives are killing themselves laughing at the work of the current team in destroying the fabric of lawn tennis, as several players grumble.
4.45 am — Hold the Back Page — Dancing Brave reviews convincing Sports Editor that he should automatically have the back page lead at all times.
5.45 am — Breakfast with Football — Officials talk of their right to nominate who, what, when and where in the CONCACAF region, and who does not like it, can go eat wild meat and souse elsewhere.
6.45 am — Coaches Scrapbook — Former Coaches explain their dilemma with those that say one thing to your face, and then use the phone to bury you, because they have not played the game at a higher level.
Also a number of wannabe coaches speak such as the manager, president of the association, and CEO of the football body, who have all had some intense coaching in their own rights.
8.45 am — Former West Indies players speak out — Exposing their battles and the pitfalls of representing the West Indies, scheduled to make three consecutive appearances are Ian Bishop, Phillip Simmons, Rajendra Dhanraj, David Williams and maybe Richard Gabriel.
10 am — Play the Game — see your favourite administrators at home with their families, shouting, kicking and crying their way through a Sunday.
Go to cornelis-associates.com for the best website management and change management.