WHY YOU MAY NEED A SEX COACH

Unfortunately, medical schools offer no standardised programme of training in human sexuality, and neither are the requirements for certification or licensure strenuous. Also, doctors tend to be trained in very specific areas of expertise and knowledge, and they tend to operate from a diseased-based model. What this means is that: 1) if there is no physical cause for your problem, the specialist can’t help and 2) the doctor will more likely look for a medical condition rather than discuss behavioural guidelines.

Don’t forget that doctors are raised in the same sex-negative or conservative society and culture as the rest of us, so they aren’t necessarily better equipped to discuss sexuality than the average person. They may be just as embarrassed or uncomfortable, and worst case scenario, they can intimidate, alarm, or actually misinform you about sex. So if you have a doc who communicates well around sexual matters, be very grateful! Do note, that there is an inherent power dynamic in the doctor-patient relationship (doc has the power, you don’t), with the doctor as the authority figure. This means that the collaboration that is often needed between client/patient and health care provider, to heal sexual dysfunctions, may not be found in your physician’s approach.

The Internet is one way of finding a wide range of information about sexuality, but sifting through so much content to discern what is current, correct and applicable for you can be very difficult and risky. The best way is to seek out the services of a trained sexuality professional and for most people, a sex coach is most appropriate.

I’m sure for many, “sex coaching” is a new term that conjures up images of an athletic coach, blowing whistles and running drills and shouting orders, but in a very erotic context. Not at all true, there is no nudity and sexual touching (I know, some of you are disappointed). Sex coaching looks very similar to other forms of clinical work – a practitioner working within the boundaries of professional ethics helping clients with concerns.

Sex coaching is the marriage of sexology – the scientific study of what people do sexually and how they think and feel about it, and life coaching – a person-centred modality geared toward creating action and results in client’s lives.

Sex coaching is not sex therapy, although it is very therapeutic. Therapy focuses on exploring the past, processing deep emotions, and spends time exploring the ‘why’ questions of your life – why you feel and behave as you do today. Sex coaching, on the other hand, acknowledges your unique history as a part of the context of your life, but focuses instead on where you want to be, and then helps you design an action plan to get there. The focus is maintained on moving forward towards goals.

In sex coaching, you, the client, sets the agenda – your needs and concerns are front and centre.

Sex coaching sessions include exploration, where your sex coach will ask about your experiences, concerns, attitudes, and beliefs, and what actions you would like to take. There will be home assignments and sometimes even field trips with your coach outside the office. Think of this new field as part personalised sexuality education and part counselling, using a coaching methodology.

Sex coaches recognise the value of therapy and other modalities in working with human sexuality and so we work with a vast referral network, which can include professionals like psychotherapists, counsellors, urologists, gynaecologists, general practitioners, massage therapists, yoga teachers, spiritual leaders and many others. Sex coaches help real people, apply tried and tested methods and research to their lives, and to achieve significant results. Sex coaches work with clients in many ways – in person, by telephone, virtually by Skype, in small group settings, and through workshops, so it is very convenient.

So if you would like to enhance your sex life, solve sexual issues or just receive personalised sex education, seek out a certified sex coach.

(http://worldassociationofsexcoaches.org) Onika Henry M.Ed. Human Sexuality 381-3049 onikahenry@gmail.com Onika Henry is a Sex Educator and Sex Coach who consults and designs presentations, workshops, training and psycho-educational counselling, to address sexual health concerns.