Bring in the Marines

THE EDITOR: It is with a feeling of relief that I heard the president of the USA say that he is aiming to protect the Iraqis from a monster like Saddam. I feel confident that he will if I request it, send troops here (just a few) afterwards to deal with the many monsters that make our lives in TT miserable. A humanitarian such as that will surely feel for us when I list the number of monsters who make the lives of us ordinary citizens so difficult to live.

First there are the disc jockeys who must play their ‘music’ so loud at each and every function, not being able to differentiate between a wine and jam fete and a social event where people also need to talk to each other. A missile could be fired at the two large boom boxes, which would make them into several smaller ones strategically placed so everyone will hear but not become deaf. Then there are the doctors who work at emergency centres and who by all accounts do not work as quickly as they should to treat accident victims. The army officer in charge of that scenario will ensure that the frequent in between meetings held by doctors to boost each other’s morale and remind each other how great they are, would be less frequent. Next, the educators would come under heavy fire for not making sure that students do not graduate from school unless they can speak proper English, which since I last looked, was still the common language.

They could also stay until complete implementation of the alternate language is established in schools, namely, ‘cussbudism’ or colloquialisms for those who simply cannot handle the Queen’s English. That could include some Americans also. Moving along, the Town and Country Division of the Housing Ministry will be fitted with new teeth to ensure that squatting all over the place, including but not exclusive to, prime locations is prohibited without exception. They will also block all entrances that lead directly from the main highways to peoples’ private properties including business places constructed along the highways. Last but not least, the Ministry that helps the poor and destitute will employ those who will genuinely help the applicants for poor relief seeing that they get their cheques and other assistance on time. When all that is implemented and put into constant practice then they can leave after giving the Government of the day a sound berating for failing to address these issues before.

SUE SANKAR
Chaguanas