Trini loses leg on US warship

JOHANN GOKOOL is just 25. He is a Trinidadian who wanted a career in the United States Navy. But his world came crashing down when he was wounded aboard the USS Cole on October 12, 2000. His early end to what would have been a brilliant career was carried in the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel. Gokool retired as a petty officer, second class, Surface Warfare, US Navy. He is single, has no children and lives in Homestead. Here is his story: “I remember everything. When the explosion hit me, I fell back (into) the ventilation system in the ship. The suction pulled me back. My left leg was mangled. After that, I fell four stories. I landed on my right ankle, basically tearing all the cartilage. I woke up on my stomach at the west point of the ship. I knew both my legs were hurt very badly.

“I pulled myself up the ladder. I climbed up all four stories to the top by myself. There was shrapnel and live wires hanging around me so it was very hard to get through. I remember every time I grabbed a different rung, I would think about something, something that meant a lot to me. I thought about my fiancee, my friends at home, my family, my friends on the ship. “When I landed in the US, I finally saw my parents for the first time. There was this humongous crowd. I didn’t imagine how big this had gotten. From there, I went to the hospital. Finally on October 24, I had my surgery, had my amputation. I had no idea what was in store. I waited two months, Christmas Eve, until I started walking again. My doctors were just amazed. I started running by February, March the next year. I was already dancing. I just kept pushing and pushing myself.

“In a way, I became a man during that time period. I had to learn I was on my own. I didn’t have anybody to run to. Yes, I had a lot of support from my family, but this was something that emotionally I had to deal with by myself, and I did. “My father was a cop when he lived in Trinidad. I wanted to be like my father. I wanted to be a man of uniform. My job in the Navy was basically military intelligence. I loved my job on the ship, everything about it. I always had a childhood dream that I was going to be a marine biologist. I loved water so much, so being in the Navy was a way of being close to the ocean. “I knew ahead of time what risk I was getting ready to take. It never bothered me. I guess that’s one of the reasons I still joined. If I wasn’t dealing with the problems I have now, I would still be in the service with one leg. I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. That kept me from basically being on the ship. If I can’t go back on the ship, I wasn’t going anywhere in the Navy. I knew it was the safest choice.

“The panic attacks, whatever you want to call them, they happen anytime. Sometimes I can go for months. Then one day, I would have at least 16 or 25 in one day. They are very awkward, but they feel like I’m having a heart attack. All my blood starts flowing and I lose control of my body. That’s the part that reminds me of a seizure, because I have no control of my body. But I’m very conscious or aware of what is going on. “I’ve had invitations to go to the VA’s Winter Olympics. I had to cancel them because of my post-traumatic stress disorder. When I got my new running leg early on this year, they saw me running around and one of the female doctors said, ‘Wow, you run like a deer. I  wish we had you for the team next year.’ I said, ‘What are you talking about?’ She said, ‘I help run the Winter Olympics.’ I said, ‘Sure, I’d love to try out.’ She said, ‘What are you talking about? You just made it. You don’t have to try out. You’re the fastest thing I’ve seen, faster than most people I’ve seen with two legs.’

“I look at life more seriously now. Any minute your life can flash right in front of your eyes, can be taken away from you. You just have to make the most of it. I have a quote for myself: the meaning of life isn’t to please anybody else, just help anybody else. “Although I do like helping, the meaning of life is to enjoy yourself. That’s why I do the things I do now. I help other people because that’s what I enjoy. I feel good about myself, and they probably feel better about themselves. “I do enjoy helping other people in my position. I model prosthetics, I try to help as much as I can with that. I’ve helped invent two new legs. The surgery I’ve done, it’s helped many people across the world now. Anything to help more veterans, anybody who needs help, who wants help, I would offer my hand.”