‘Real daddies’ facing many obstacles

Among the latter is the untenable crime situation that has had the effect of leaving citizens from all walks of life almost paralysed with fear.

Of real concern is the violent nature of many of these crimes, usually perpetuated by men and, apart from the unfortunately “usual” homicides, the clear instances of wanton violence against our women and girls.

Part of our lamentations surrounds fatherhood: “men are absent”, “not in the home”, “neglect our responsibility”.

These accusations are held as just one of the reasons for our current criminal situation and, regrettably, in too many instances they are true.

However, it is baffling why in a society that supposedly wishes its men to “step up” to fatherhood there are systemic barriers placed in front of those of us who do wish to fulfil the role of a “real daddy”. For example: *A father cannot be present at his child’s birth in the public health system unless he manages to be present (away from work if allowed) for enough Lamaze classes — which negates premature births — and sometimes he is still not allowed anyway.

*There are instances where a man cannot sign his child out of a public hospital (I had this experience in Tobago); it must be the mother or another related female.

*The Single Fathers Association of TT was formed because men found they were not being given quality time with their children by the court system in the case of separation/divorce.

*There remains no policy for paternity leave in TT , so if a father does not have holidays to take he is forced to be away.

*Men who are behind on maintenance payments (for whatever reason) are treated as criminals by the law and can be found most easily on Beyond the Tape alongside those accused of other crimes. How then can we still expect change? Maybe I am wrong, but let’s see if continuing to lambaste fathers and leaving these barriers work in the long run.

Marlon Bascombe via email