In defence of Rowley’s domestic abuse comments

I am asking those in positions of responsibility and leadership not to respond emotionally but rather to continue giving critical rational thought to the issue at hand. They have a responsibility to speak wisely to temper the noise emanating from political and other self-serving sources, as these only serve to diminish the efforts of those who are trying to find effective remedies. Dr Rowley has not said anything different that my mother, grandmother and other great women of their era said to their daughters. I have five sisters and my mother told them time and again, “Be careful about the boys who come around; don’t take any gifts; a man’s money is his blood; he will think he has a claim to you; we have to know his family; keep your legs crossed and don’t be too quick to share yourself; don’t listen to flattery; after he gets what he wants things change etc.” So, Dr Rowley did not invent caution to women about their relationship choices. These sentiments have been uttered in families down through the ages.

Sometimes good leaders revert to providing advice as parents would. It has been my experience that such an approach is not always prudent. In a failed effort to speak about safety and preventive measures, Dr Rowley seems to have stumbled into the dangerous waters of giving dating advice. Perhaps he could have provided safety tips instead of making those statements.

Women and girls need to be fully educated about safety while they enter into relationships.

I agree with the erudite Dr Diana Mahabir-Wyatt that these men are not walking around with signs on their foreheads. However, I am sure she agrees that safety planning is always crucial given the prevailing threats of harm to women and children. There is a significant distinction to be made between words of caution and victim blaming. We should always be mindful to emphasise that difference. We are not advancing the cause when we do otherwise.

Also, there is the valid argument that men and boys need to be socialised differently.

However, the domestic violence crisis is ubiquitous and has been so for centuries. While efforts to socialise the men and boys continue, we must continue the conversation about safety.

Further, we should examine current and past statements by our leaders in order to better appreciate their views on this life-altering issue that plagues all countries across the globe.

Dr Rowley’s views on domestic violence are outlined in an article in November 29, 2010, Guardian.

This is one of several articles that exist.

All those who would like to put an end to violence against women and children agree that the phemenon is highly complex and should not be discussed in one-dimensional terms.

Before we condemn Dr Rowley please read the following again: “Opposition Leader Dr Keith Rowley says the People’s National Movement (PNM) will support legislation or any programme to assist women and children in TT in enjoying violence-free lives. In a message to mark International Day for the Elimination of all Forms of Violence against Women, Dr Rowley said he condemned ‘any act of violence against our children and our women folk.’” The PNM leader said, “Sadly, we know about domestic violence. As a husband, a father and a representative of the people, including the women of my constituency and the country and, out of respect for the many women and children in our country who have fallen victim as a result of violent attacks, I stand in solidarity with all in commemorating this day.” He said violence against women can no longer be viewed only as a woman’s concern, but as a concern for life, security, peace, and the nation’s concern involving men and women, and boys and girls.

He called for a reaffirmation of the commitment to invest more resources in countering violence against women and for deliberate attempts to be made to transform the legal, political and economic landscapes to eradicate the scourge of violence against women.

He added, “In this regard, I urge my parliamentary colleagues and the NGOs, let us all engage in meaningful dialogue, and let us work together with a view to legislating appropriate laws to address this issue. We support every effort made by the country to give our women and children the best violence-free life this country can affor