Why gossip?

GOSSIPING is one of the most toxic activities that one can engage in.

Engaging in unhealthy chatter about others, signals weaknesses in the minds and personas of those who do; unfortunately, we co-exist in an environment where gossiping appears to be a new normal and this is based on reports that come into the International Women’s Resource Network on a daily basis, particularly from women in the workplace. Psychological research shows that some human beings have an insatiable appetite to know what’s going on in people lives.

However, though there may be some truth in this, the habit of gossiping, like other characteristics, is deemed to be learnt behaviour adapted through one’s social orientation.

As for me I am not interested in what’s going in other people’s lives, unless I can add more value to what already exists in a positive manner.

I have witnessed instances where gossiping has become so chronic that people look you in your eyes and gossip about you; when one has reached to that point, introspection must step in.

According to Elena Martinescu of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, who lead a recent study on gossiping, “Gossip recipients tend to use positive and negative group information to improve, promote and protect the self.” They added, “Individuals need evaluative information about others to evaluate themselves.” Research also shows that people who use gossip as a way of life usually have high levels of anxiety and cannot be trusted.

Reasons for gossiping include but are not limited to, the need to feel superior, out of boredom with little or nothing to do, envious about the achievements of others, seeking attention and out of anger and/ or unhappiness.

Responding to gossip requires a bit of tact which would also assist in understanding the root cause. For example if someone continuously encourages you to gossip about Jenny Doe….it is highly recommended that you change the subject, but not before seeking responses to questions and/or concerns such as, “I notice that you speak about Jenny quite a lot and I am eager to find out why”; “Let’s talk about some more positive things that can help us both”; “I feel uncomfortable listening to negative comments about others unless we are willing to help them improve.” These are just some of the comments that can jolt someone into understanding that gossiping is not welcomed and that they should desist from it.

Gossip is likened to poison and should be avoided at all costs. It destroys your trustworthiness… as if you are caught, those affected would not trust you again, your reputation can be ruined as rumours of your gossip-like tendencies would spread throughout various business circles; you look ugly in the eyes of others because they see the fault before they see you; depending on who is affected, gossip can land you into legal troubles and it is also prohibited in the Bible.

If you can’t speak good about others, say nothing.

Sandrine Rattan is a communications/ branding consultant/ author and president of the International Women’s Resource Network (IWRN) Contact: thecorporatesuitett@ gmail.

com or intlwomensresourcenetwork@ gmail.com or con