‘Talk to the Hand...’

I’d not come across the saying “Talk to the hand ‘cause the face ain’t listening” before, but it’s as good a description as any of those who ignore the customer, the public, in stores and government offices and elsewhere, while they attend to a call on their cell, or their mobile (since TSTT’s massive advertising campaign taught us to use the UK rather than the US term for the phones we carry around with us these days).

Some thought Ms Truss would follow up her bestselling book on punctuation with another on English grammar, instead she issues a call to arms to those who are sick and tired of being told to “Eff off!” when they object to someone who is rude or disrespectful. Or those who are given an “Eff you” sign (as I was one day last week after I sounded my horn in protest at the driver who cut in on me at the QRC roundabout.)

Maybe things aren’t as bad here as they obviously are in the UK and, for all one hears, in New York, but, this being Trinidad, we’re getting there. Do we say “Please” and “Thank you” as often as we did?

The best way to describe this book is to list the six chapter headings: “Was That So Hard To Say?”, “Why Am I The One Doing This?”, “My Bubble, My Rules”, “The Universal Eff-Off Reflex”, “Booing the Judges”, and “Someone Else Will Clean It Up”.

Is it hard to say please, and thank you these days? Apparently it is in the UK. I had an example of “Why Am I The One Doing This?” while standing in a queue in the bank last week when I read the notice “Thank you for completing your transaction slip before joining the line”. If there’s one thing that terrifies me in banks it’s the transaction slips, they confuse me, they expect me to know what to fill in where - and I don’t. The bank tellers can fill them in, in no time at all, but me? I agonise over them for a quarter hour or more.

Automated switchboards are another “Why Am I Doing This?” case in point. Try calling WASA’s headquarters in St Joseph, or the PoS General Hospital or any other large institution or company, insurance office etc for a game of Russian Roulette with the switchboard connecting you to voice mail after voice mail as you try in vain for contact with a living, breathing voice.

“My Bubble, My Rules” lists one of my pet peeves — people who answer phones and indulge in long conversations when I’ve taken the time and trouble to meet them face-to-face — you know the kind of thing I mean? And people who force you to listen to one half of their inane conversations on their mobiles.

For “Booing the Judges” read parents quarrel with teachers attempting to instil a little discipline in the classroom.

For the rest, I leave you to explore the world of modern manners, or lack of them, by acquiring your own copy of this — at times very funny, at others sad at the passing courtesy and respect in the modern world — book from (where else?) Nigel Khan, bookseller, PricePlaza, Ellerslie Plaza, Gulf City and The Falls, Westmall.