Parents, especially fathers, must play their role

THE EDITOR: I wish to use this medium to reinforce the message that short-term remedies are not the answer to the problems of crime, especially amongst young people. The problem of crime involving our youths is to a great extent influenced by environmental factors or conditions.

The family as a social unit in society is a most important part of this environment and plays a pivotal role of providing our society with young persons who possess the potential to build rather than destroy our country. When we speak of family, we are not speaking of just the mother, we are speaking also of the father who must play a crucial role in helping to have a positive influence on the personality of the young adult, so that he or she can meet and deal successfully with life’s challenges. The absence of fathers in homes is perhaps one of the most harmful social problems in our country today. For example, research shows that children who live without fathers are approximately two to three times more likely to use drugs, experience educational, health, emotional and behaviour problems; be victims of abuse, and engage in criminal behaviour, than those who live with their biological parents.

Additionally, research studies have found that there are significant positive effects on the well being of children, where there is active involvement of a father. For example, children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behaviour and avoid high-risk behaviours such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers. Unfortunately, far too many men delegate the majority of the routine management of the children to the mother, while they labour to support the family in a very different role. They seem to forget that when they fail to assume a more direct and intimate role in the lives of their children, they also fail to help in the nurturing and development of young individuals. Individuals who would be better able to make a more meaningful contribution to the family, as well as to society as a whole.

Admittedly, as a young parent my attempts at being a good father were based on information and observation of my father and others. However, after a few years I discovered that there was much more to be done than just to see to it that my children were well fed, obtained a good education and were given a good start in life. I wish therefore to offer some advice to my fellow men: Tell your children that you love them and that they are important to you. Touch your children affectionately. This communicates love and affection. Spend quality time with your children. This is undoubtedly the most effective way to show them that you love them. Teach your children. Begin when they are young and teach them little things like good manners; how to read; how to pitch marbles or fly a kite. As they get older, keep teaching them little things. Use everyday examples to teach life lessons. Train your children. This refers to discipline. Be involved enough to set limits and enforce consequences. Do not delegate this role to others. Stay together with their mother. In addition, show compassion; respect; and support to their mother. Do not be discouraged if your efforts to not yield immediate results. Remember, real, meaningful change takes time. Finally, Fatherhood is a long-term investment that pays outstanding dividends to you, your children and our society.

COLVIN BLAIZE
Chaguanas