Rainy days and arthritic nights

I have been reading Ms Hilton’s articles on the environment for years. But her takes on that pain in the joints are very informative.

I am a writer of sorts. Like your columnist I focus on environmental matters but I was forced to pen an article on “Arthritis”. It may come across as a joke but I think that there are a few pearls of wisdom in between. Rains is an anathema to people afflicted by arthritis. It is widely believed that rain is just one day away when knee, toe and elbow joints suddenly become stiff, noisy, warm, swollen, and within hours very painful. Rain transforms. Many people become hobbled overnight. Getting up or sitting is a task. Hands are willing but unable to reach the head or the underarm or to simply button a shirt or blouse.

The hot, suffering feet shuffle along burdened by their overweight owners. The greatest change is not physical but mental as the sufferer is forced to ponder on his lifestyle. Toxic waste accumulated, reputedly from tobacco, meat, alcohol and white flour, over the long, lazy, hot, dry season, is said to manifest itself as arthritis. This is arguable as there are many non-smokers, non-drinkers and vegetarians who suffer from the big A. It seems as through vegetarians are vulnerable to the crippling disease as members of the nightshade family — pepper, tomato, melongene and potato — are, allegedly, triggers of arthritis.

Is there a cure for arthritis? Conventional doctors say no; herbalists or bush doctors — as they are known in the Caribbean say yes. Medical doctors and their alter egos agree on a few points — pork, citrus and alcohol, among other things, are bad for the joints, fretting, stressing over the situation does not help and exercising the affected joints is beneficial. Over the past 15 years like many other sufferers I have tried conventional medicines. I have used over-the-counter drugs: ibuprofen, diclofinac in all their various brand names, steroids and I have even been given ‘gold injections’. One physician even extracted some synovial fluid from an inflamed elbow joint. Have any of these medicines helped? Yes. Sometimes they do ease the pain.

In the past three years as my finger, knee and toe joints creaked and cracked and began taking on knarled, witch-looking appearances. I have tried folk medicines. Fishermen swore that shark liver oil or shark fin soup was a remedy for bursitis. Some scientific research done in the USA has concluded that shark cartilage helps to prevent purine from accumulating in synovial fluid. It would seem that the fishermen were not telling a fishy tale when they insisted that shark fin kept arthritis at bay. Zebapique infused in water or puncheon rum and gully root infused in urine are among the many folk remedies for pain in the joints. Recently I took an old man’s advice and tried splashing my early morning warm urine on a contentious foot: I did get some relief. I baulked when he advised me that one’s urine works best when it’s taken orally.

A few weeks ago I came across urine therapy on the Internet. Proponents of this therapy believe that the cure for one’s illness is often found in one’s urine. They, like the old man, recommend oral application of urine. I am yet to summon the courage to take a drink of the wasted stuff. Other bush remedies include rubbing stinging nettle on the affected joint, rubbing with used transformer oil, drinking ginger beer brewed with garlic. The latter did work — I passed more gas than all those 36 persons who meet in a certain place to shoot the breeze on many a Friday afternoon. Hot ginger/garlic wine is not for the squeamish; it feels like liquid fire, you feel it cutting its way all the way down, down into your stomach. I warn you — do not take this earshattering, gut-disturbing concoction out of your house or far from your outhouse.

Arthritis has an up side. It strikes all — rich, poor; black, white, brown or yellow. The affliction brings out the best in most of one’s fellowman. Total strangers, without a ‘by your leave’ offer instant remedies for your limping or express genuine compassion. But there are those people, mostly youngsters, who ask, ‘Uncle what happen, you damage the knee playing football or what?’ And the more fortunate of one’s peers who show no symptoms of any life-threatening disease try to ruffle you by foolishly asking you to explain your limp. In time, the young bucks’ and your peers’ impertinent questions would be answered. The former if he lives to 40, the latter when the big C or AIDS suddenly manifests itself. While arthritis is apparent, one learns to live with it for years. But those two killers Cancer and AIDS conceal themselves. When they do show their presence wham. It is too late.

Exercise, fish oils, a contented mind and our hot sun help to keep arthritis at bay. As if we did not know, I read in a local paper that sufferers in the cold climes go through more pain than their counterparts in the tropics. Many offices and banks turn down the air conditioners to Siberian temperature. I pity those arthritis sufferers who use those facilities. I thank the banks for the introduction of automatic tellers at supermarkets. Do office clerks still wear sweaters in air-conditioned offices. Some people believe that politicians and other professionals wear European-styled jackets to counteract the cold of their cars, offices or chambers.

If only I could invent apparel to warm some businessmen’s beastly-cold hearts I would become an instant millionaire. On the other hand, it is quite likely that some people are very comfortable with their stone cold hearts. As I gaze at the gray twilight sky, my knees are locked, my feet feel like they are going to sleep and my fingers have to be coaxed to open up. I know that this is indeed going to be a painful, arthritic night as rain has been falling for most of the day. Oops, here it comes again. Good night. Do not forget to wash your hands after you have applied your liniment to those painful joints.