Cricket boots on sale, cheap

With all the talk of firing, banning and just plain termination  in sport, Newsday’s resident expert, Dr Boldword (no relation), who spends most of his life doing language research, has offered his clarification on  unclear words and definitions.

“Dear Dr Boldword, As I was watching Brian Lara’s last walk off the field today, I was thinking of my boots,  the boot up the behind and royal bootlegger or what we also call  a spirited puncheon drinker, and I was wondering idly if there was any particular difference between a  bootlicker and  bootless.” Dr. Boldword writes: Is that your question? “No, it isn’t. I am sure there is no particular difference between the boot and a boot. It is quite interesting, however, that we have two different expressions for exactly the same type of dismissal, which seems a case of over-production.”

Dr. Boldword writes: Just a one-off, surely. There is no other example of an incident  that has two similar names.  “Well, that’s not quite true, is it? After all, there’s West Indies cricketers and failures. There is West Indies cricketers  and non-triers. There is  clueless  and  West Indies Cricket Board.” Dr.  Boldword writes: All right, all right, wise guy! So, when I said that no other incident has two names, I should have said that every other incident related to West Indies cricket  has two names. Big deal. Now, what’s your question? “Well, I was thinking that it’s interesting that the name ‘cricket boots’ has survived as well as ‘booty’ has, even though ‘bootlegging’ has no linguistic by-products.”

Dr. Boldword writes: How do you mean? “I mean that there are no slang words or expressions associated with ‘cricket boots.’ We don’t say “I’m going to put on my  crickety boots” or anything like that. Whereas we do talk about a pair of ducks in the same boots in West Indies cricket very often. We even say ‘give  them all the boot’, meaning it is time for the WICB  to put their feet down, and we also use ‘booty’ as one of the many synonyms for drunk stupor many West Indian fans find themselves in on the morning of many a Test, at home or abroad.” Dr. Boldword  writes: Do we? “Yes, we do. We also  don’t talk about the ‘boot — camp,’ as a shorthand reference to the kind of camp, several of the West Indian players need to experience so that they can stop talking only in loud voices at parties. “

Dr. Boldword writes: Do we?  “Oh, yes. Of course, a cricket  boot is not like other — booths, which are meant to be a temporary shelter, and to wear a West Indian one should mean pride, integrity and discipline. Some boots are like bats, they are made from trees.” Dr. Boldword  writes: Which one is that? “The Lastbootingchancenia.” Dr Boldword writes: Yes, it is about time, someone at the top of the tree makes a stance and then stands by it. “But they need to have testicular fortitude in cricket for that to happen, and most of these guys sleep with their boots on, because they suffer from cold sweating and fits of fright.” Dr. Boldword writes: Right! I’m with you I think. “Of course, we mustn’t make the mistake of thinking that it was Vivian Richards, Gordon Greendige or Larry Gomes’s boots  that made them better players. For one thing, sthey all had different sizes. For another thing, they hadn’t invented  fame, fortune, self gratification, and lack of proper control and focus by then.”

 Dr. Boldword writes: It is time to maybe stop putting the —boot- on the other foot, and by the way what were some of your cricketers doing building a betting booth? “But Doc...” Dr. Boldword writes: Have I offended you, I am sorry but I thought with Sachee Gangeeleee and Aneele  here , they were just being very good hosts. “Am, Am ....Do you know that the Wellington boot derives its name from Arthur Wellseley, the first Duke of Wellington.” Dr. Boldword  writes: Look, have I missed something or have you asked your question yet? It wouldn’t matter so much, except the bars have just opened and I think it’s my shout.

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