Importance of Hindu marriage

The Vivah or marriage is the most important of all the Hindu Samskaras (rites of passage). It is not a social contract as it is suggested in modern western civilisation, but a religious institution — a sacrament. Apart from the two human parties, there is always a divine aspect in marriage. It is on this divine aspect that the permanent relationship between husband and wife depends. When they are joined, they owe allegiance to this divine aspect. Every Hindu marriage is another union of Lord Vishnu and his divine consort Sri Lakshmi. In another sense the Hindu marriage is regarded as a sacrifice. It is said, “he indeed is without sacrifice who has got no wife. He is himself a half man. The second half is his wife.” Also worship of ancestors and gods are dependent upon progeny. And it is only through marriage can one pay his ancestral debts. The following is an extract from the forthcoming biography that  will be published by Chakra Publishing House on Sat Maharaj, tentatively entitled Sat Maharaj: Champion of Hindu Trinidad. “Pundit Krishna Maharaj, the Dharmacharya of Caroni Village, was working for Bhadase Maraj then as a book-keeper. He approached Sat in late 1952, saying “the chief,” as he called Maraj, wanted a favour. Sat queried what that might be, and the Pundit dropped the bomb. Bhadase wanted Sat to marry his daughter Shanti. Sat was stunned. He was only 20 years old. His two years away from home had stirred up a confidence in himself and a newfound wanderlust, he was dreaming of going to England or India. Possibly even Canada like Solomon Tancoo with whom he still kept in touch while Tancoo was studying in the great white north. He certainly wasn’t thinking of settling down and having children. He chased girls like any other young man his age, but he was not ‘prepared to establish any permanent relationship at this age’. Sat told Pundit Krishna as such, and he departed. 

Sat of course knew Shanti as he had known Bhadase in passing as fellow villagers. Shanti was a few years younger than him and he certainly hadn’t thought of her as a possible wife or even girlfriend. He was floored by Bhadase’s request. A few months went by and Pundit Krishna was back, saying “the chief,” Bhadase, was still waiting on an answer. Sat replied “the chief” had already gotten an answer. This type of thing went on for another six months. Pundit Krishna was a very determined and persuasive man, he had been instrumental in drumming up support for Bhadase’s desire to merge the Sanatan Dharma Association and Sanatan Dharma Board of Control, going out to villages with no street lights or running water and convincing the residents to take this gigantic step into the future and away from all things familiar and known. One afternoon Sat finally acceded to his wishes and agreed. Sat cannot pinpoint what brought on the sudden change of heart but he has never regretted agreeing to it. The decision was made and the wedding date was set for early in 1953 but then tragedy struck. Finally on June 28th 1953, Sat and Shanti were married, six months behind schedule. It was one of the largest weddings Caroni had seen and was not bypassed for a long time with government ministers and businessmen in attendance on Bhadase’s invitation.

There was more food than most of the villagers had seen in one place before and only the finest materials for Shanti’s saris (wedding gowns) which were beautifully dyed yellow as saffron and as red as rubies as well as Sat’s jama jora (wedding suit).  Sat said in an interview with anthropologist Dr. Kumar Mahabir, “I have experienced all the happiness and tensions of a normal marriage and my fifty year relationship with my wife Shanti has provided me with overwhelming joy and fulfillment. From the day of my marriage my wife has been very loyal and supportive of every single one of my various activities. Occasionally, when everyone in the world seemed to be against me the comforting arms and voice of my wife would renew my spirit and drive me forward. I have not always been kind enough to her nor have I ever expressed how grateful I am to her. But not a single one of my ventures in religion, culture, community, education or business has been without her input. This is the nearest I have come to saying thank you, Shanti.” According to Dr Krishna Nath Chatterjuee, author of the Hindu Marriage Past and Present: The purpose of the Hindu marriage is to have sexual relations, continuity of the Hindu race, and discharging of religious and social duties. The Path of Desire, consisting of fulfilling religious duty, attaining prosperity, worldly pleasures and salvation are the goals of marriage. The Hindu marriage is a sacred institution with the couple becoming one in spirit. A Hindu man has not attained his complete self unless he is married and has the cooperation of his wife. 

Marriage between two souls is a very sacred affair that stretches beyond one life time and may continue up to at least seven lives. A husband and wife chose to come together more due to spiritual reasons than sexual, though they may not be mentally aware of the reasons for their decision to come together. According to Hinduism, the roles of a husband and wife are parallel, supposed to complement each other, instead of contradicting. In marriage two individuals of opposite sex come together to make their individual lives complete and perfect. The bride is not just a woman but a gift from the heavens. The husband therefore has a divine obligation to respect the position of his wife in his life and family. The wife on the other hand is expected to see the divine (self) in her husband and help him carry out his householder’s duties and responsibilities. These beliefs and practices still hold good in many Hindu families and keep many marriages intact and alive, unlike in many western countries, where marriage as an institution is in serious crisis.