Gender bias or plain hypocrisy?

There can never be any honest or meaningful honouring of Nelson Mandela while despising Winnie. Nelson’s honour is inextricably tied to Winnie’s. Try to minus hers and his vastly diminishes. Ostracising her will be tantamount to practising the same evil for which we condemn apartheid.

In my counselling, for some years now, I have used the manner in which Winnie Mandela has been treated — by her former spouse, and otherwise — as an example that may not be the most healthy to emulate. I was tempted, on occasions, to voice (or vent) my feelings publicly, but for some reason, there was a degree of reticence. The recent Nelson Mandela visit to TT, changed this. I was present at the events held in the Nobel Peace Prize winner’s honour, at the Queen’s Park Oval and the Hilton. I think the honour was quite in order and the moment was a propitious one. What I see, nonetheless, is that there was in the whole show a subtle (or not-so-subtle) act of unfairness, and perhaps a spirit of deceit, including a measure of honour-stealing, and pettiness. Strong words? Well, I think I can safely defend my polemical position. I just think it’s high time we (Black people?) got real.

I strained my tiny ears from the time Nelson Mandela landed at Piarco, to hear even a little “pinny winnie” sound of the name Winnie mentioned somewhere, but my poor eardrums were sadly disappointed all the way. Even a sotto voce mention appeared to be too much to offer the champion warrior-cum-freedom fighter, called Winnie. Not only did the ANC iron lady lead the fight which defeated the foe that brutally shackled her husband for almost three decades, but Winnie’s extraordinary bravery and courage of conviction succeeded in keeping the Mandela name and image alive. Her unfailing passion for the cause effectively fuelled her pursuit of purpose. With obdurate tenacity she scorched the turf of her adversary, to the point of securing the freedom of her husband from the Roben Island and Victor Verster dungeons.

While Nelson was under the “shelter” of prison, it was Winnie who faced the vicious, ruthless fire on the outside. A young, intelligent, visionary firebrand, willing to lay her life down. But naturally quite vulnerable because of the absence of her husband’s covering, and the related contemporaneous treacheries, she apparently buckled a bit and fell prey to pressures of which we have heard. It seemed a straight case of a valiant soldier being wounded in battle. In the circumstances, this wound ought not to deny her a score of distinction. Whatever the esoteric details, there can be little doubt that this was a case worthy of empathy and compassion, yet it has shockingly yielded nothing but scorn and rejection.

I hold very high regard and admiration for the man Nelson Mandela, but it’s difficult for me to conceive how the honourable gentleman could find it so easy to forgive those who bound and afflicted him for 27 years, but it seems the hardest thing in the world for him to genuinely forgive his “redeemer” Winnie. This may be evident by his apparent inability to make the smallest reference to her invaluable contributions to his freedom and overall success. Perhaps I just do not possess what it takes to reconcile this distinguished statesman’s seeming lack of genuine forgiveness and his professed pacifistic ideals.

It must be less than decent for Mr Mandela to soak in the oceans of accolades showered upon him at those majestic events in his honour, while deliberately making every effort to keep the least smell of Winnie out. The same indictment may hold for some of the organisers of these events. One understands the peculiarities of the vicissitudes of marriage. Nevertheless, irrespective of what has transpired in the personal affairs between Nelson and Winnie Mandela (or whatever the Stompi affair — implications or accusations) there could never be any honest or truly meaningful honouring of Nelson, while despising Winnie. Nelson’s honour is inextricably tied to Winnie’s honour. Try to minus hers, and his vastly diminishes.

Any attempt to ostracise her will be tantamount to practising the same evil for which we condemn apartheid. On the matter of court battles, it may look as though the man’s (Nelson’s) legal issues, with 27 years of incarceration, made him a hero worthy of absolute support, while the woman (Winnie) in her challenges is deserving of reproach and abandonment. Also, if it were Winnie in jail for 27 years, and Nelson had so admirably won the battle on the outside, would the female gender (27 years in jail or not) ever receive the boundless royal tributes that have been bestowed upon the male gender? Never?

Turn the gender tables around, and you’ll find a radically different picture emerging. I would hate to think that we are actually being confronted by an acute case of male chauvinism or megalomania. Look at Bill Clinton and Hillary. Hillary has had to endure the status of being the most disgraced woman on planet earth because of the Lewinsky affair, and what appeared to be numerous others, that surfaced while her beloved womaniser hubby held the office and status of “most powerful man on earth.” Despite immeasurable magnitude of her emotional agony, Hillary was expected to forgive, forget and make sure her man kept his “honourable” image. Whatever the emotional, psychological and social costs, she has humbly complied.

Adulterer Clinton still holds his head high, receiving the highest acclaim around the world today, including TT, where he was a guest of honour at a very high profile function, not so long ago. And something is still so wrong with the poor woman Winnie! She is so much of a devil! What’s really the matter with those who have scorned and ostracised this daughter of destiny? Is it a gender thing? Or is it just a plain hypocrisy thing? Will somebody who knows, please enlighten me!