Catching the spirit

I must have been paid a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Present the night before, for what, or who else could and would have led this cynic to awake  one morning last week and decide to “get into the spirit of things?” Before you could say Saint Nick, I, Suzanne “I don’t dig Christmas” Mills was  pounding the computer’s keyboard like one of Santa’s elves, hammering out Yuletide greetings — in the form of carols — for my “favourite” public figures of 2004. I was a woman possessed. At the top of my musical gift list was Patrick Manning. I thought it was politically correct that my first composition should be for the Prime Minister of Trinidad and Tobago; it was patriotic of me really. “Home for Christmas” was the title given to this, my dreamy little melody for Patrick:

“I’ll be home for Christmas
you can count on me
Please have Balisier
and more Balisier
in the Red House for me.
Christmas Eve will find me
Beneath the Chamber beams
I’ll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams.”

The second man I believed truly deserving of a carol this year was UNC representative for Fyzabad, Chandresh Sharma. His song, “Sharma, the Red-Cheeked MP” was of medium beat and simple lyrics:
“Sharma the Red Cheeked MP
had a very shiny face,
and if you ever saw it,
you would even say it blazed.
One of the other MPs,
used to toss him cups with glee
He never let poor Sharma,
Enjoy his parliamentary tea.
Then one Election Eve,
Panday came to say:
‘Sharma with your cheek so bright,
won’t you guide my slate tonight?’
Then all the MPs hated him,
and they declared openly
‘Sharma the Red Cheeked MP,
We go hit you with a cup of tea.’”
Next on my register of lyrical presents was PNM MP Dr Keith Rowley. His carol I thought would be called, “Let us throw,” and it should be a rapid, show tune number:
“Oh the weather outside is frightful,
“But the china is so delightful
and since we’ve no place to go
Let us throw! Let us throw! Let us throw!
It doesn’t show signs of stopping
and a teacup’s good for lobbing
The Speaker is a no show
Let us throw! Let us throw! Let us throw!”
I also had a song for Franklin Khan, Minister of Works and Transport, TT’s man with the plans. He had planned hard all year so Frankie was more than deserving of a carol. His would be a merry jingle, fitting Frankie’s permanent grin:
“Car horns ring
Are you listening
in the streets
Men are cursing
A hell of a sight
But we’re happy tonight
Walking in a Frankie wonderland
Gone away is the mountain
here to stay is the flooding
Down in central
People bawling
We sing a death song
as we swim along
Floating in a Frankie wonderland
And he’ll say: Aren’t you happy?
We’ll say: Yes man
You can do the job
You’re our best clown.”
Readers should know that I thought I should not confine my list or spirit to local figures. I felt that I owed George W Bush, the American President a Yuletide present and so I composed a triumphant military piece called, “War To the World:”
“War to the world! For George is come:
let Earth receive her son
Let every heart fear his brain
and heaven and nature done.
War to the earth! George W reigns
let men their missiles aim
while fields and floods, rocks,
hills and plains
resent the President’s name
Let sins and sorrows grow,
and bombs drop to the ground:
He comes to make the blood flow
and to curse and pound
He rules the earth with lies so
proud
and makes the nations dread
the power of his rightwing crowd
the numbers he leaves dead
War to the World.
George W is come.”
I realised as I composed carols for individuals home and abroad though that this Christmas spirit thing was quite time-consuming. Would the Ghost of any Christmas, Past, Present or Future be upset if I placed the rest of my gifts in three baskets, so to speak, that is, compose blanket carols for the men and women of Trinidad and Tobago’s parties? For example, the PNM’s gift could be a catchy little song:
“Deck the halls with Balisier
Fa la la la la la la la la
‘Tis the season, ‘tis our day,
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our flowered tie,
Fa la la la la la la la la
Who get vex is a UNC spy
Fa la la la la la la la.
Deck the halls with Balisiers
Fa la la la la la la la la
‘Tis the season for ten days
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now the blooming emblem
Fa la la la la la la la la
We are proud to be PNM
Fa la la la la la la la la.
For the Opposition UNC, the composition would be less of a carol and more of a dirge:
“Panday roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost ripping up his nose
Joyful songs sung by the UNC choir
as they toast Bas marshmallows.
Everybody knows a duck and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
UNC MPs their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know that Santa’s on his way
Bringing freedom on his sleigh
and every MP’s gonna pray
that he’ll take Panday far away.”
Finally, the DAC/NAR of Tobago. I would for them compose a staccato piece of music with short words:
“Election bell, election bell, election bell rock
Election bells ring and politicians swing
Dancing and prancing
Showing how it’s done
The election hop has begun
What a bright time
it’s the right time
to jump the party ship
Election bell time is the best time
to take a political trip.
Election bell, election bell, election bell rock,
Election bell ring and politicos swing
It’s the election bell hop!”
Seasons greetings to all Sunday Newsday readers!

suz@itrini.com