How many wives can a man have?

The question of how many wives a man can have in Trinidad and Tobago remains a legal puzzle from time immemorial. It must be properly examined and steps must be taken to observe the law in all its fullness. The answer to this question is blowing in the wind because some men have one wife, some have two wives and some have several wives in a land in which bigamy is prohibited according to law. It is puzzling because the men with more than one wife appear not to be breaking the law. A man can have only one wife legally, that is, he can be married to one woman only and this marriage is registered in the office of the Registrar of Marriages. This same man can have one or several wives without being married to them lawfully.

Yet he cannot be charged for committing bigamy which is the real puzzle. This man in question has the same relationship with the other wives as he has with his married wife. The married wife takes care of him in sickness and in health. She loves and cherishes him in joy and in sorrow. She performs all her wifely duties to him for better of for worse. She remains faithful to him. He remains unfaithful. The other wives do the same things for him as the married wife. The reality is this man has one or more wives. He is breaking the law. He is a bigamist in every sense. Yet he cannot be prosecuted because only the registered marriage counts. Only if he has two marriages registered he could be charged. He can have 100 unregistered marriages and he is free like a bird to have more. This makes no sense and certainly this is one instance in which the law is an ass.

This situation encourages promiscuity, infidelity, instability, unfaithfulness and disregard for the sacred institution of marriage. The result is many children receive inadequate fatherly support or none at all. Some women end up as single parents. The sacredness of marriage, the family and the home is compromised. Indiscipline and delinquency become rampant. Lawlessness, crime and violence enjoy a reign as terror and horror strike in all directions all because of men having one or more wives. Another result is the frightening HIV/AIDS epidemic, which is really God’s punishment for bigamy, adultery, fornication and unfaithfulness. If a person breaks God’s laws he or she must pay the price. What is surprising and shocking is that some religious persons, who should be exemplars, are engaged in the business of keeping one or more wives. Under the guise of religion they get some unsuspecting or even suspecting women to surrender to their whims and fancies.

In Hinduism if a man dies and leaves a wife and children, his brother after him who is unmarried, must marry his widowed sister-in-law and take care of the children. This is commendable because the children will continue to have fatherly care, protection and support. Unfortunately this practice seems to be on the wane in our society. Most Hindu men prefer not to undertake this responsibility as they wish to treat their deceased brothers’ wives with dignity, love and respect. But in some instances the younger brother begins a relationship with his sister-in-law before his brother dies. He even seduces the wife and makes her his wife causing much pain and heartbreak to his brother. This causes tension, conflicts, and feuds in the families affected. Basically Hinduism teaches mon-ogamy which is marriage to one person at a time. Most Hindus accept this philosophy and are noted for their faithfulness, fidelity, loyalty and devotion to their spouses.

Some pundits in some villages are not different from the ordinary Trinidadian male.  They are known to have one wife at home and others somewhere else. Some of the others are numbered among their “chalas” or disciples. In Islam a man is allowed to have more than one wife. He can have as many as five at one time but it is not as easy and simple as it may appear. A Muslim man may marry a second wife if the first agrees and if the next wife to be is a widow or poor woman. He marries her to be her help mate and not necessarily as a sleeping companion. Then he must treat the two women fairly and equally. In the same way he can marry a third, fourth or fifth wife, all agreeing to the marriages and all being widows or poor women and all getting equal treatment. The first wife is the senior wife and is in charge of the family in the absence of the husband.

It is wrong for a Muslim man to marry a second wife who is rich or well-to-do. If he does he will not be helping her because she can provide for herself and children. The reason for other marriages is purely to offer assistance to less fortunate women. However, some Muslim men in our society are known to have one wife according to the law of the land and other wives in accordance with Islamic law. Let it be known that the law of Trinidad and Tobago is supreme and is binding on all religious laws. No man can have more than one wife in this nation. It is a well known fact that a certain leading Muslim cleric has several wives. These wives come from rich families and are not dependent on him for support. Added to that none of them are widows. His marriage to them is for the sole purpose of his sexual pleasures. This is defying the law of Islam. Such men are not an example to their flock nor to society. They are not leaders to be followed and yet people follow them for what they can get or for fear.

In Christianity a man must have only one wife. He marries his wife “till death do us part.” Divorce is out of the Christian’s vocabulary. He is supposed to live with his wife in peace, unity, love and harmony. Husband and wife become one. He loves his wife as he loves himself. The wife must love and respect her husband. Some marriages are not made in heaven. Couples divorcee or separate from one another. Even some clergymen are known to be divorcees. This is unfortunate because what can a divorced person teach by example about unity, married love, tolerance, forgiveness and faithfulness. Some Christian men including men of the cloth are known to have a legal wife and an illegal wife or wives. They break the law of God, the church and the country. Yet they cannot be prosecuted. The church to which they belong may take some action and have them defrocked.

It seems as though no religion has the answer to this perplexing question of how many wives a man may have. Religion may say he can have one wife but in practice he can have two or more. All religion can do is to forgive and pray that good sense may prevail. The ball is in the hands of the government of the day to put right what is wrong. The recommendation is that laws be passed forbidding man and woman from having extra-marital affairs. Anyone who does must be sent to jail, without any fine, for 25 years. This will bring some dignity, respect and stability to family life and rid the nation of many evils.