Money keeps moms from reporting abuse

He said if the perpetrator is a relative, the child could be told they want to “mash up the family.”

Shafe, along with Gwen Ross of the Rape Crisis Centre, and Ann Soo-Ting of the National Family Services (NFS), were members of a panel at a seminar on sexual abuse in children for the Diego Martin and Petit Valley communities hosted by the North West Regional Health Authority at the grounds of TTPost, Diego Martin Main Road.

Soo-Ting supported what Shafe said, noting, mothers “hardly” took the initiative to report incidents. She said they were often in denial and the NFS usually got anonymous calls from a friend, neighbour or another relative.

Shafe told the media if women could see the long-term benefits of reporting abuse they would more likely report abuse. He said educated mothers were more likely to report incidents than less educated ones because most times they had jobs.

Shafe said the ability of children to get over abuse depended on the support and cooperation from parents and the community.

While some children are able to speak out and are prepared to go to court to support their claims, it is difficult for others to overcome the abuse and the perpetrators get away.

Shafe said, “If the family does not support the child who wants to go forward with the case, what will happen is the case would collapse because the family would put pressure on them to drop the case.”

Shafe said people in the community could become hostile to victims making allegations about a “nice” neighbour although he may be a “paedophile encroaching on all children in the neighbourhood.”

Shafe said children who are abused use psycho-somatic symptoms such as headaches, belly aches, chest pains to communicate to adults (parents, caregivers and teachers) to get the attention of an adult.

He said, “They will not come to you and say uncle touched me. They will say I have headaches, chest pains.” He said their level of cognitive development is lower than adults and they deal with problems differently. Children can also use non-verbal communication.

Shafe said sexual abuse can also take place with children being perpetrators.

He referred to a case involving a six-year-old boy trying to practice sexual acts on a five-year-old girl. An evaluation of the boy revealed that he was repeating what he had seen his parents doing. Shafe said, “we have a lot of situations where parents, fathers and mothers are having sex in the presence of children.”

He said children learn by observing and repeated what they saw their parents doing even before they were told. Shafe said their concept of right and wrong was not developed like adults.

Gwendolyn Ross said abused children can show a range of symptoms — anxiety, low self esteem, depression, excessive crying, sleep disturbances, saying they were afraid but could not explain, problems in school, and behaviour change. She said women were also perpetrators of sexual abuse, “teaching 12, 13, 14-year-olds how to have sex.” Ross said children acting out what they saw on television with “all kinds of promiscuous things on the television.” She said children have to be taught what is right.

The seminar was the first phase of a programme targeting the community, the second phase will target people working in Diego Martin, Petit Valley and Carenage while the third phase will target children.