What kind of relationship exists without communication?

“I hadn’t expected it to go so well. I was pleased to say the least. After all I have been through– well, you were a breath of fresh air.

“But now I am feeling different. Yes, we have spent a lot of time together…most of it great…some not so much. Still I had faith in you and our relationship until recently.

“I haven’t heard from you in a good long while – too long. At first, I was wondering what I did wrong….nothing really. Then I thought about how often you used to talk with me, check on me. You seemed to really care.

“Now I am not so sure. I haven’t heard from you in months -nothing…not a call, a letter or a note. Heck, even a text message would be better than this. To tell you the truth, I am a bit hurt. I thought I meant more to you than that.”

In case you’re wondering, the column isn’t going to morph into a “Dear Giselle” type column and the letter is NOT about a disgruntled lover. This is a hypothetical letter from your customer! The one who you pursued for months – the one you agonised over with your team as to how best to “get” them into “bed” with you.

Now that you have them – NOTHING – the big blank – zero communication!

I have often heard many wise sales gurus talk about how awful the term “closing a sale” is and what a terrible image it leaves on the minds of those involved in “closing” deals. When a sale is made, it is really the “opening” or start of a new relationship. All relationships grow with nurturing yet why do we view our relationships with our customers as different? What relationship exists without communication?

We stay in touch with good friends – even though we might be busy during the week – we make time for an hour or two at the weeks’ end for a drink. Would we go without talking to a valued friend for weeks, months perhaps years? (Now I did say valued) And so I ask – is it then, that we don’t value our customers? That we merely see them as a means to an end: ‘helps me to pay my mortgage, provide tuition for my kids, puts food on my table!’

The reality is that your view of your relationship with that customer probably did not change with time – but hers certainly did! Those warm fuzzy things called feelings suffered from your communication deficit syndrome. To the customer, “If you cared, you would have continued to communicate with me.”

Which brings me to the how we choose to communicate. In today’s world of speed and efficiency – emails and telephones are the communication tools of choice. More and more everything is moving to the web – even presentations.

So now we are busy trying to figure out how we can cut out all that face to face contact and get totally efficient conducting our business from the comfort of our homes, never having to see the – gasp – customer.

As a soloproneur, I have found myself often caught up in ways to leverage and become more efficient and so I am all for Skype, emails and regular phone contact over sometimes physically going to visit clients.

However, I had a recent epiphany ... while all these things are wonderful there are certain times when I must be there in person! A “no” by email or on the phone can sometimes seem like a door slamming – rejection. Yet is there a possibility to reframe that and to see that perhaps the person saying the no doesn’t “see” what you’re seeing and so feels confident to stick with her usual way of doing things?

Can we begin to view that “no” as an invitation for enrolment – giving your ideas over personally to a customer – convey your feelings directly and then remain ever so vigilant to catch the spark in their eyes and create a bonfire?

The question is: why leave your valued customer relationships to chance? Customers WANT to hear from you, even when they are not in your office or you in theirs.

Not communicating costs you – and it’s far more than you imagined. No on-going communication can create a mortal wound of neglect that kills your relationship with your customers. Some are more forgiving than others but make no mistake many will forget you, just like you have forgotten them!

giselle@connecting4profit.com

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