Doing it all by text

So should laptops and tablets.

Technology has gone beyond bad manners.

I viewed Facebook with great caution for years, and still do. It is the fact that a slip of the finger can cause embarrassment and pain to so many people, in an instant. But emails are even worse. How does one gauge words when there is no emotion and no body language and no tone of voice to supplement them, and when by the very nature of the medium they are brief? In the art of letter writing there were protocols, beginning with the address, “Dear”, as a way of entering into a relation with the other.

Now we launch into the message without preamble.

A dear friend and sister sent me a letter last week by post, “just because”.

It was a way of reminding ourselves of what we used to know, that each individual word comes loaded with meaning and needs to be placed in a context that minimises misinterpretation. And that communicating is an art.

That letter started me thinking about how little this generation truly communicates. People make dates by text, arrange liaisons by text, and break off relationships by text. We email rather than talk.

How does one say what is in one’s heart through a text message? The same friend suggests that many young people suffer breakdowns because they cannot say what they feel. Not only does the medium not permit it, but we have also lost the capacity to converse.

I happen to believe in dialogue, though there are many people with whom I cannot communicate. In some instances, it is because they are dogmatic; in others because they cannot see my point of view.

There are others who simply shout or denigrate and that act silences me.

I carry on conversations in my head in these instances. Of course I have to recognise that they probably have quite a different perspective.

This is, of course, what many writers seek to understand. How does one get into the mind of another or see the other from her point of view? Is this even possible? Writers such as Samuel Beckett, whose play Waiting for Godot points to the breakdown of communication in an increasingly meaningless world, dedicate their careers to exploring the difficulties that we as humans face in dealing with others. The main problem is, of course, that we do not really know what another thinks or what motivates any individual. Sometimes we spend a lifetime trying to figure out the conundrum.

The bottom line is, however, that without good human interaction life has little meaning. And we need all the help we can get in keeping the channels open and preventing miscommunication and misunderstandings.

In the past, words, through letters and conversation, meant there was a possibility of dialogue. Words could be used as tools to find out what others were thinking or could help to negotiate our friendships.

Many of us still remember the open doors that we could enter, in so many homes. And these doorways led to talk and even negotiation.

It was no perfect world, but there was possibility. In the 21st century, we have the Internet. And it is increasingly becoming a closed circuit.

The Internet is a useful tool for those who have limited mobility or social interaction or skills, and I mean this in the widest sense.

But like many useful aids it is easily abused. It is very often used as a means of self-glorification. The Internet and texting are also wonderful ways of shutting someone up, in particular since the person cannot be seen.

Bullying through emails or subtle Facebook tactics can be exceptionally dangerous, not simply because the medium lacks emotional resonance and messages can be taken out of context, but because they can go viral. The word “viral” is an interesting one in the context of the Web, since it suggests both a quick spreading message and also connotes something diseased.

Communication through technology in the 21st century can indeed act in the manner of a contagious sickness, since it can and does lead to ostracising of people and can spread ideas that are not readily verifiable. There have been several instances, for example, of reported deaths, which have been proven to be false, but the distress is none the less there.

But the real problem is that our contemporary methods of communicating somehow mean that we no longer see the person, in a quite literal sense. Human and machine become interchangeable.

Technology has led to a lessening of real encounters between individuals.

We no longer necessarily see, touch, smell or even hear each other, but rely on graphics and symbols. It is a sad fact that young people actually prefer a text to a telephone call. If we no longer use our human senses to try to understand each other, then we live in a severely handicapped world.

Not so coincidentally, a current advertisement on British television counsels people to meet face to face and have a “brew”. A sound message indeed.