Talking body language

Naturally, and quite understandably, a national furore emerged, with many discussing what appeared to be a combination of hubris, insensitivity and a complete lack of understanding the importance of body language in communications. Body language refers to the non-verbal communication cues we often use when interacting. Many of these nonverbal cues are not necessarily a contrived part of the communications process, which is why it is so important to understand the management of these cues, to ensure what we mean to say is being interpreted in a non-offensive manner. Many times, what we say is often in complete conflict with the messages our body language may be sending, and the receiver may choose to believe the body language, rather than the verbal message.

When communicating with others, without being cognizant of it, we communicate with our eyes, facial expressions, gestures, head movements, posture and vocal tone, amongst other variables. As such, one’s character whilst communicating is often judged based on one’s facial expression whilst speaking.

According to an online article titled, “Your body speaks: Body Language Etiquette for Global Business” by Marco Sacca: Humans have more than 700,000 forms of body language: facial expressions, gestures, mannerisms, greetings and degree of eye contact vary greatly across countries. Body language training is therefore a great asset to organisations with practical applications to leadership, sales, customer relations, HR and workplace dynamics. We just have to recall the recently concluded United States Presidential election, where every movement of each of the candidates was viewed under very specific lenses. Tact and diplomacy are also very important factors in the art of communication. These are skills centred on an understanding of other people and being sensitive to their opinions, beliefs, ideas and feelings.

The crux of the matter essentially has to do with understanding how to communicate in difficult situations. This manner of communications occurs in two dimensions: when it is planned - occur when the subject has been given thought, they are planned as the time, place and other circumstances have been arranged or are chosen for a reason - and the unplanned conversation, when in the case of a spur of the moment discussion. For both scenarios, the following tips should apply

: Get the Facts: It is imperative in the challenging interaction, that the information being communicated is accurate. The information must be fact-based so as not to cause any further and undue disruption;

Be Assertive: It is important to be confident and firm in your conviction – which comes as a result of the fact-based interaction.

Now, being assertive does not mean being aggressive or arrogant.

Be Empathetic: It is important to understand that the information being communicated is very difficult for the receiver, as such, there is an old saying that you must ‘put yourself in the other person’s shoes.’ Would you feel ok if someone sharing negative, life-adjusting information to you is doing so with an inappropriate, glib, smile? Listen: There will be an outcry. It is your job to listen. Regardless of if you are in government, business or any other sector, an important part of the communications and leadership mandate is to listen actively.

Remain Calm: It is imperative to understand the importance of the leadership role, not only in times of good stead, but so too in times of crisis. Many look to the leader to read the stated and the unstated.

As such, it is very important for those in leadership positions to own a deeper sense of emotional and conversational intelligence.

Aim for the Win – Win Outcome: This outcome may not always be possible. However, demonstrating that this is what you are aiming for certainly provides the required level of understanding and empathy required when imparting less than desirable information.