Love is URGENT

He yells from wherever he is in the house,”Mummy!!! Mummy!!! Mummy!!!” to which I respond “Yes, Lord and Master?” Then he replies, “I love you.” It’s a source of humour to my friends and family who are constantly entertained by the shenanigans of my household. Sometimes I suspect he just does it because he likes to be called Lord and Master, but I thought about it some more and in all honesty, he’s right. Why shouldn’t I be in a hurry to tell someone I love them? There is no reason to delay expressing our love to those around us. In fact it’s quite the opposite, we should do so with great haste. No, this isn’t a badly timed Valentine’s Day article and that’s my point. Is it against the law to show love unless it’s Valentine’s Day? We feel the need to wait, to take those around us that we love for granted, until the acceptable day and time to say or show our love, or until it’s too late, to shed tears after the person is dead and gone. I think my six year old has the right idea.

The way the two of us carry on it’s a real love fest, we are always saying “I love you” to the other and when he’s upset or angry or just because, he will come right out and ask you for love. Then it’s cuddles and snuggles for days. I call him my Love Bug and he calls himself a Love Mosquito, we are a real riot. I know the day will come when my kisses and hugs won’t be in as high demand as they are now, but in the event anything happens to me I can close my eyes knowing my son knew just how much he was loved. I may regret not splurging on the designer dress and Louboutin’s I’ve been eyeing for the past few months but not the love and affection I’ve lavished on those around me.

I’m not advocating everyone joining hands and singing a chorus of Kumbaya, nor am I saying I love everyone and other blatant falsehoods. What I am saying is that there are people near and dear to you, those you miss and ache for when they aren’t around, the kind of people you wonder what they are doing any time you’re apart. Whether the person is a family member or a friend, a partner or a spouse, what harm is there to say I love you to the individual? As an Old Hilarian, of course, I held different views of relationships. I thought that whoever said I love you _ rst in a relationship was the loser and established a dynamic in which you would be at the mercy of the other for the duration of the pairing.

Honestly, in the shark infested dating pool this belief was useful and I dare say protected me quite effectively. The order of the day being sexting and sexploits, it’s just plain common-sense to not be putting your heart out there. Dating is very different from being in a relationship but it’s difficult to turn off the protective force _ eld and open yourself up to love and to be loved.

I am amazed at the couples that have just settled on each other and stayed together, not out of love.

I guess it makes sense, I’m getting older, I can tolerate himher, they own a house or they have a good job, we already have children together.

But these are not valid reasons to enter into a relationship and are even worse when discussing marriage. It may seem a bit idealistic but I don’t think I have the stomach for that. It never ends well. I’ve held the hand of many couples as they reached the point of dissolving their marriages and inevitably it was because they got married for the wrong reasons. Because someone looks like a good match on paper does not mean that is a reason for a relationship. The hurt feelings of the spouse that was busy loving, while the other was just there, can get really messy and the fallout from the ending of these relationships, not pretty.

As I’ve gotten older and have some life experience under my belt, I can tell you, I understand the importance of love even more now, in any kind of relationship. We Trinbagonians are an expressive people but we seem to be better with other four lettered L words, like lust and lash. We’re really good at those but at loving each other, not so much. We know how to be happy and angry but not how to love. That is one of the great things about my son being a special needs child, he lacks the capacity to be anything other than sincere. I hope that never changes. As for me, I am never too old to learn and my son is not too young to teach me something. I’ve taken his lesson to heart and will be more urgent in loving. I intend to squeeze a lifetime of loving into my days from now on, I will be giving and taking all the hugs, kisses and skinship I can. I don’t know what will take place tomorrow but I can spend today loving those I care for. So what if it’s not Valentine’s Day? Urgent By Asher Brewster Love is 7