Carnival survival guide for foreigners

Before you arrive: Inform your bank If you try to budget too tightly with your cash and end up using your bank cards in Trinidad and Tobago, you run the risk of having your accounts frozen until you get back home. The Caribbean and Africa are high risk regions and banks will freeze your accounts to avoid fraud unless they were informed of your travel.

For those returning to America It might be a good idea to miss Carnival if you travel a lot, even if it is for work, and you have visited places Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Yemen because you may end up being denied entry to America if President Trump is not impeached by Ash Wednesday.

Send down a barrel with food Trust me, it’s cheaper to raid a Walmart and/or Aldi, pack two to three barrels, and ship them down in time to coincide with your arrival.

It might be a bit too late now, but I would also suggest that you do it earlier because the crowd to clear goods at the ports at Carnival time is just as terrible as the Christmas season. Alternatively, walk with plenty money to get ripped off. It is what it is.

When you get here: Lose the accent or go mute Speaking of rip off; if you decide to show off your newly learnt American or British accent after only living away for 6 months, you may want to shelve it while you’re here unless you don’t mind being charged double or triple for everything.

For example, a taxi ride from Machel Monday to Chaguanas may cost a local TT $150, whereas accented folks get charged in US dollars, starting at a nice round figure of US$50. Accents work in your favour at certain places like government agencies and KFC, but not with coconut vendors around the Queen’s Park Savannah, some taxi drivers, and scalpers! Learn to wine Lord Kitchener said that you cannot have Carnival without wining and you cannot have wining without a movement of the buttocks. Practice makes perfect.

Oh, and by the way, if you are coming to be stush, there is plenty bush to party in.

Know what to wear, when Dressing appropriately is important for any Carnival pump. Cooler fetes are for shorts. All-inclusives and concerts require a bit more class.

And it is against the law to purchase a new outfit to play J’Ouvert.

Be Careful Ladies, stay with your friends.

Don’t get separated in a party or on the road and think you will get them by phone. Reception in huge crowds is almost non-existent, especially if your sim card is green! It is actually possible to be calling for hours before you get a ring, and even then, they probably won’t hear/feel the phone.

Stay close. And if a random “thurst man” tries to grab you to separate your from your girls, put him in his place quickly. Additionally, we have a lot of people here who love your possessions more than you. Be vigilant.

Eat properly Yes, I know KFC in America sucks.

I know locally made roti and doubles will always be better than the roti from Roti Joupa in London or the doubles from Ali’s in Brooklyn, but that does not mean that you should consume that junk for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

These delicacies are especially a no-no after a cooler fete or an all-inclusive party where you know you abused the liberal flow of drinks. Do so at your own risk because your next drink may be Pepto-Bismol.

Don’t eat any and everywhere Ask questions, folks. Find out where the good food places are; don’t be fooled by long lines and smoke.

Use Trip Advisor for the more established places and word of mouth for the best local cuisine. Of course, you cannot leave our shores without some good crab and dumplings, but just remember, when cooked, crab should not have hair on its legs.

Tune out media negativity Watching, listening and reading media negativity will most likely make you too afraid to go out to have fun. Yes, I know that Trinbago may not be the same place you left and foreigners may have heard a lot of bad things about our society, but I promise you, the majority of us are good people.

Unfortunately, like the Yanks and Brits, we are also being run by idiots and that is why we are in the position we are in.

Don’t let it dampen your vibe at all! Happy Carnival, folks! I’ll be back in two weeks after I recover.