Sometimes, it’s best to simply listen

There is dire need for us to explore that innate human ability gifted us all — the capacity to be mindful of ourselves and our surroundings, to be fully tuned in to our own mind, and be observant of, and sensitive to, others’ well-being. Such competence enables us to suspend judgment and approach our experiences with compassion, for ourselves and others; particularly relevant in how we relate to others.

It assures that we need not unchangingly hold to or otherwise defend our own ideas (fundamentalist- like). As columnist Gabrielle Hosein says, sometimes “… it’s best to simply listen.” For listening, especially empathetic listening, enables mastery of unselfish understanding, which is the magic of real human communication.

Listening then is an art, with its rules and guidelines. Good listeners are good communicators, offering complete concentration.

They are not distracted by their own anxieties or perturbed by information which may challenge settled assumptions. They are unfazed by anything which may for a time be distressing. Having been there and done that, they’re confident that things will fall back in place.

No need to shut out information which does not conform to hopes. In fact, the good listener, mindful and perceptive, acknowledges that in life it’s okay we are all just holding things together in various ways “… and we just need to go easy with one another, knowing that we’re all these incredibly fragile beings.” Listening also requires the listener to be strong enough to share in the experience of the other as if it were his own.

In these difficult and violent times, we all yearn for a calmer, more humane country, where our conflicts can be resolved peacefully.

There is a compelling need to discover ways of channelling our anger for positive change and narrowing the “divide;” in a word, for compassionate listening.

To get to the root of our conflicts we need to find common ground, and even forgive “the enemy.” Without compromise, governing a democracy is exceedingly difficult, if not impossible.

Anyone who doubts either the difficulty or the necessity of compromise need only recall the politics of the last three decades.

Today, the spirit of political compromise seems in short supply in this our native land. How else, then, do we come to grips with the issue of governance — partnership, engagement and participation of the people in the critical affairs affecting their lives and livelihoods? Many current and aspiring local politicians speak glowingly, as if to bask in the glory, of the Nelson Mandela legacy. How many understand the extent to which it derives from the accommodating and humble nature of the man and his commitment to and practice of compassionate listening? How about us, citizens?

WINSTON R RUDDER Petit Valley