Womansplain

Thanks to male ‘overconfidence and cluelessness’ comes the phenomenon of mansplaining. It is defined as ‘to explain to someone, usually a man to a woman, in a condescending manner about something he has incomplete knowledge about, with the mistaken belief he knows more than the woman he’s talking to’.

I am not painting all men with a broad brush. I will always acknowledge that there are enlightened men who can relate to women as equals. There are men who do not feel their manhood is under threat, if they acknowledge a woman knows more about a subject than they do.

However, there are a lot of men that are not like that.

The fact that the word mansplaining has had to enter the lexicon, shows just how widespread this phenomenon is.

Feminist author Rebecca Solnit wrote a sometimes funny but brutally honest essay called Men Explain Things to Me. In it she reminds us of the fact women face a lot of challenges and that the insidious B-side of mansplaining, is that it delegitimises a woman’s: ‘right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged, to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be a human being.’ Before you argue that this is just the voice of some crazy feminist exaggerating, think about the ways men dismiss what women are saying on the grounds that: It must be that time of the month! (What time exactly is that? the time of the month where I speak my mind?) She’s angry or bitter because of x, y or z. (Why do you assume I’m angry? Have you done something I should be angry about? Just so you know I am aggressive and opinionated, not angry) She’s only a woman, what does she know? (That’s on a good day, more often than not it is ....) She is a: bitchwhorehysterical etc (feel free to insert anyone of the many dismissive or derogatory names used for women here) Notice, a woman’s education, training or experience are irrelevant to her credibility. She is dismissed for no other reason than her biology or gender. I don’t see how mammary glands and ovaries can make one human less credible than another.

While I received a fairly well-rounded education and can speak comfortably on a wide variety of topics, I don’t know everything about everything and I don’t have any difficulty admitting that. I also feel I can learn something from everyone I interact with so I have no problem deferring to someone who knows more about a subject than I do. I take it as a chance to learn something. The things I do know, I know well. I am not a person to just read a book or hear something in passing and declare myself an expert. If I say I know about something, I have devoted time and effort into studying so I can have not just knowledge but understanding. Despite this, I have seen my knowledge, expertise and experience dismissed.

There is some degree of challenge to the credibility of a woman’s ideas, opinions and expertise, that is based solely on gender. That can’t be right and this flawed and outdated thinking is systemic and institutionalised. Think of the implications for women interacting with institutions that are predominantly male, like the police service or the legal system. If a man in a position of authority is one of these mansplainers, do you really think a woman’s testimony is going to carry as much weight as a man’s? Hardly likely.

So while mansplaining is mostly amusing to women like myself – usually my girlfriends and I have a long loud laugh at the expense of the mansplainer – at a later point, there are significant ramifications.

So many men operate with the belief that the default state of women is ignorance, based solely on their groundless confidence. Given rates of academic performance between sexes, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It should be the other way around right? Simply looking at the data from primary school to university, women outperform men. So what exactly causes so many men to think by virtue of their gender they know more than a woman they’ve just met? Rather than roll my eyes and groan, or having a discreet chuckle, the next time I encounter a mansplainer, I’m going to start actively womansplaining.

At every opportunity I get, I’ll be sure to inform the mansplainer of just how knowledgeable and educated I am. I will be sure to insert in the discussion that I have two degrees, international work experience and have travelled extensively. If the mansplainer is the kind that doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise, so he isn’t actually having a conversation but rather is delivering a monologue, I have no difficulty having a parallel discussion. If I work really hard, I too can learn to be condescending when speaking to others and I can learn how to have a long and passionate discussions, not based on facts of any kind. With a lot of effort I can redefine a conversation to mean a diatribe of my own ideas and opinions, no input needed from another party.

Before those around me notice the changes I will be sure to rehearse my innocent and clueless face so I can show it when necessary.

Or I can just do like Hefty Smurf and say ‘Bing bong.

Bang bong bing bong bong’ every time someone says something I don’t feel like listening to. That sounds like a lot less effort and a lot more fun to me.