Dotishness on the soca train

A number of calypsonians can thank their lucky stars that Ras Shorty I (deceased) is not a member of the High Court of Trinidad and Tobago and is unlikely, for obvious reasons, to accept such an appointment, even if offered. In an interview, the former “Love man of endless vibrations” Garfield Blackman (or Lord Shorty I of a subsequent incarnation) suggested, with much passion, that a number of calypsonians should be on “death row.” Their crimes? Well, let prosecution counsel Ras Shorty QC (Qualified Calypsonian) state his indictment: “M’lud, those imposters are killing the nation with nicely packaged talkalypso.”

As one fellow put it, “The calypso boat is overcrowded with too much quacks and invalids and calypso is sick, and possibly dying, in the hospital.” Recently, another fellow was dancing and prancing to, “Too much jackasses now riding the soca train.” As Ras Shorty I saw it, “It have nobody have more power than a calypsonian when he get up to sing.  So when Superblue and others call on the nation to ‘get on bad’ why can’t I call on the nation to ‘get on good?’” It’s time to wake up. One probably recalls that the song which brought Blue Boy (as he was then called) to public attention and launched his career was “Soca Baptist,” which created quite a stir, because the Baptist community took umbrage at their religious persuasion being dragged into the bacchanalian arena of calypso.

The Baptist community leaders sought an audience with then Prime Minister Dr Eric Williams seeking to have him intervene and possibly have the song banned. Actually, the song itself was not offensive but emotions ran high because there was the feeling, perhaps justifiably, that the religion was not being regarded with the respect that was generally accorded to the other religions. Apparently, Dr Williams, who had much influence with the Baptist community was able to pour oil on troubled waters and the only comment that I can remember coming from his direction was, “Let good sense prevail.” In retrospect, it turned out to be “a storm in a teacup.”

Now I have a very hazy and incomplete recollection of this, but the “talk on the street” then was that the “Love man” (Lord Shorty, that is) might have gone a bit too far when, in a calypso “The art of making love,” he ventured to publicly give the PM unsolicited advice. Whether true or not, it was rumoured that contemplated legal action against Shorty died a natural death. Now, to return to Ras Shorty I’s grouse. Shorty is reputed to be the “father of soca” and it obviously grieved him to see that his precious soca has got stuck in the “wine, jam and wave” rut. Hear the Ras, “So much ah ting happening in de place and dem fellows only singing ah set ah dotishness and messing up me soca.”

An indignant Shorty threatened to go back into calypso ring and teach his “soca sons” a lesson or two. He warned, “Move over for yuh fadder. Ah come to jam, jam, jam down Lucifer.” To digress a bit, Brother Mudada alluded to the same concerns some time before. According to Mudada: “It’s all ‘wave yuh hand, wave yuh hand,’ end of song. It’s one happy, waving family. All ah dem jumping on the waving gravy train. It’s jump, jump, jump, in one silly pattern lyrically lame, this clown come, that clown come, all man singing the same song, morning, noon and evening. For a little variation, ‘Move to de right, move to de left...but doh mash up nobody toe.’ If so, crapaud smoke yuh pipe.”

One of Shorty’s “soca sons” Iwer George told the Mighty Sparrow that he wasn’t bothering to reply to Shorty because, while he was being ridiculed, he was making his money. Iwer George dealt with Shorty’s reprimand in his calypso “Think it over, think again,” because everybody knows that Iwer can compose calypso but it’s the party side of him which helps him to feed his family and get work in New York and Miami. Lady Tigress said that we shouldn’t blame the calypsonians but it’s the fans who “like it so.” So give them what they want and are prepared to pay for. Tigress predicted that at the rate things were going Trinidad could become the Kaiso Labasse and a recycling plant with “boom boom on sale, retail, wholesale.” She warned, “Trinbago, what you support is what you get. Good, good commentary is being sent to the grave by rant and wave and wave, wave, wave.” The Shadow was a bit more lucky than most as he claimed, “They say I singing nonsense, but people like the nonsense.” At one time, an apparently frustrated Shadow even planned to give up calypso to go and plant peas in Tobago. But he couldn’t make the grade because he kept hearing “a bass man in his head,” and that made him the people’s monarch that year.

There has been some concern that the trend towards “party songs” could spell the death knell of the traditional calypso. What the fans seem to want is a hot and spicy tune to “wail down the place” and “free up to.” This could very well mean the demise of the calypso tents, as we know them. But who’d really miss them, once we have parliament, as it is, and our parliamentarians as they damn well are. On a more serious note, the limited seasonal and local demand for calypso music cannot sustain calypsonians, composers and musical arrangers re their financial requirements. Even the local response to calypso and pan is disheartening to the artiste. When someone like David Rudder feels that he has to travel abroad in order to pay his bills, then you know that, “Water more than flour.” Trini like to boast that, “pan and kaiso is we ting,” but, as Black Stalin suggested, we full ah crap and are only “part-time lovers.”