Avoid reality

The most penetrating comment about Cro Cro’s calypso has come from Chamber of Commerce president David O’ Brien. “The danger of Cro Cro is not that of jackasses braying, which is harmless enough, but that he reveals our peculiar national propensity to follow jackasses,” said O’ Brien two weeks ago. Loath as I am to admit it, I do pay a lot of attention to jackasses. This is not only for the purpose of knowing the enemy, but also to give me that satisfying sense of superiority that comes from having a brain. Mind you, my pride soon falls since, as our political and religious leaders and radio talkshow hosts continually demonstrate, the most effective way to succeed in this place is to be a jackass. At any rate, because of my jackass-watching habit, I have become quite familiar with the rhetoric of Cro Cro’s defenders.

It’s not that some of them haven’t made some valid points: it’s that most of them don’t actually believe their own arguments. Their main defence has been that the calypsonian has a right to freedom of expression. The principle of free speech is one which, of course, I unreservedly support. I don’t even agree with Cro Cro’s detractors, who argue that free speech must be responsible. Apart from immediate physical danger, like shouting “Fire” in a crowded theatre — or, for that matter, telling a hyped — and liquored-up political crowd that they must attack the media — free speech means that you have to allow irresponsibility.

This is why the real test of one’s commitment to free speech comes when somebody is saying something you absolutely abhor: which is clearly not the case with those defending Cro Cro. But there is a deeper problem: freedom of speech is only effective when you have opposing viewpoints expressed with equal freedom in the same forum. Only then are ideas and opinions thoroughly aired with, hopefully, the more rational and ethical views coming to prevail. Yet, despite all the excellent material provided by Prime Minister Patrick Manning, there is not, as far as I know, any calypsonians ponging him in the way that they undoubtedly would have ponged Basdeo Panday if he, for example, had appointed Oma to sit on a State Board, let alone made her an unqualified Education Minister. So freedom of expression is curtailed. For that reason, I have decided to pen the kind of calypso which the socially conscious calypsonians should have written themselves, but didn’t. And, in the unlikely event that anybody wants to sing it, they can do so almost free of charge: I’ll want only a bucket of KFC chicken (spicy-crispy), a gold tooth and, if they reach the Big Stage, a three-piece suit made of shiny cloth. But I must warn potential buyers that my calypso is unlikely to be successful: not only am I not a race-baiting, ignorant demagogue but, worse yet, my lyrics actually rhyme.

Eat Crow, Crow
Lyrics by KB, copyright 2004

I was in mih house watching a calypso
show
When I hear see a scary sight, not Brigo,
Was a black crow standing on the
window
Just like in the story by Edgar Allan Poe.

Chorus: The crow crow, “I bring a tale
of woe,
From a dead calypso whore,
Born again as the spirit of true true
kaiso,
This black bird with de harsh caw.

The crow crow, “Once I did call on the
Master,
Quoting Bible verse and chapter,
But all dem dotish critic
Didn see mih Master was really
Patrick.”

Chorus: The crow crow, “I bring a tale
of woe,
  In the form of a ditty
 So turn off dat kaiso show
 And hear how to deny reality.”

The crow crow, “Patrick give Hazel edu-
cation
Even though she fail she examination,
But not one kaisonian eating breakfasses,
Wha happen to all dem braying
jackasses?
Patrick even want to move Parliament,
Not one kaisonian have a comment,
All dem woulda pelt cock-ball if was
Panday,
But with Patrick like is only no-balls in
play.”

Chorus: The crow crow, “I bring a tale
of woe,
About a kaisonian with a short fuse,
A man who did lie low, lie low,
Till he rise through racial abuse.”

The crow crow, “Calypso was about jus
tice,
Now is to give Patrick elbow kiss,
Dey wouldn sing about Coudray or
Alleyne
Or that Patrick fraid de Muslimeen,
That he taking ride in private jet,
Or forgiving heself he own debt:
Nah, not one damn lyric in de tent
Since Joan give dem money to pay de
rent.”

Chorus: The crow crow, “I bring a tale
of woe,
About man who once was bold.
But now when dem so sing kaiso
They only holding out a begging bowl.”

The crow crow, “The art of calypso
Is now the fart of calypso,
Stinking up the place in various ways:
Cause whether de jackass brays
Or Machel jock waist and prays
Calypsonians only singing ting that
pays.”

Chorus: The crow crow, “I bring a tale
of woe,
About all dem who winin so proper,
A set a party ho in the party row,
All a dem singing for dey supper.

The crow crow, “Calypso ent commen-
tary again,
Except a lil bit from Chalkie pen;
All dem kaiso lacking a lyrical arrow,
Except from the bow a de Shadow,
And poetry is nought, nil, nada,
Now that Rudder living in Canada.”

Chorus: The crow crow, “I bring a tale
of woe
About a singing corpse, unlearned and
unheard,
Once a man, singing true true kaiso,
Now a ugly black bird, feeding on the
worms of words.
 
E-mail: kbaldeosingh@hotmail.com
Website:www.caribscape.com/baldeosingh