Imitate both the lion and fox

THE EDITOR: Ms Cynthia Haddley raises the questions, “What kind of male children are we raising in this country? What are our mothers teaching our sons? How are we grooming these young men for responsible adulthood? She tells us that there are mothers who do not groom their boys. There are no rules, no curfew, any behaviour is acceptable. Boys grow into unambitious non-achievers, whose heroes are the gangsters glorified on BET and who see their way to riches through drugs and brutality. They want money and hot cars, but they could hardly write a proper sentence. These are the men who will make up the pool of husbands from which our daughters will have to choose.

Whoa, hold your horses, Ms Haddley. No baby comes with a handbook and every child is different and there are many, many parents who are doing their utmost to raise their children (boys and girls) as they know best. And they raise confident, ambitious, responsible, talented, high achievers who are well spoken and well read and some of these children (boys and girls) have a mind of their own and do not listen; they believe that parental guidance is really about the parent being judgemental and “snooty.” They know it all. I have two sons who are in their middle thirties now, and when they were very young I agonised as to how I should raise them — should I raise them to be scoundrels or gentlemen or gentlemen-scoundrels in their relationship with women. I looked up some ancient writers and read about wise men who advised that one ought to imitate the lion (to chase away wolves) and the fox (to escape traps), and trained my sons accordingly.

In the world today there are many knowledgeable, beautifully disciplined and behaved women and also many women who do not listen and who believe that they can behave as they like. And they do not come with labels. Imagine your well brought up son falling prey to a she-dragon and he does not have the training to make his escape, woe to him. No, the scale is evenly balanced. If there are few prospects available for our daughters (which I doubt) then there are few prospects available to our sons (which I also doubt). One just has to be cautious, and watchful, do not commit too readily or too quickly to a relationship, go out in groups, play the field, assess persons as to their suitability to be a life partner. Notice how they get along with their family and friends. Avoid vindictive persons and those who cannot keep their word, watch how friends’ parents get along with each other and keep in mind that even in the other dictionary “marriage” comes before “sex.” And if ever you begin to have doubts about someone don’t stand up to figure things out, just grab your hat and run.

JACK LEARMOND CRIQUI
Diego Martin