Challenges of motherhood

One of these challenges has to do with the “barrel children.” Mothers/parents go to work abroad and send “a barrel” down for their offspring. Some of these youths later graduate from the food and clothes barrel, to the gun barrel! It has been previously noted in this column, that not every woman with the capacity and ability to produce children, is automatically a mother, despite her giving birth. While a woman is born, motherhood is a responsibility, privilege and a calling. Today however, mothers are faced with challenges that weigh heavily upon this sacred calling. Some of these issues are:

• Single Parenting: In our society today, there is an increasingly high number of single-parent homes, headed by women. The nuclear family seems in jeopardy. The challenges and stresses of being a single mother are indeed enormous. The economic factor is a big one. Many single-parent homes are rooted in poverty. The mother tries hard to raise the children single-handedly, while earning the proverbial bread. In many instances her rewards do not match her efforts. And much of the family’s needs are usually left unmet. Some mothers try to cushion this agonising situation by compromising morally. They resort to relationships and rendezvous which bring only temporary relief, financially and emotionally. Many times the result is another child and a quick, final “goodbye.”

• Domestic Violence: This is a disgusting plague that continues to badly overstay its time among us. Although we are aware that men are also affected by this enemy, mothers, and women in general, are far more frequently the victims. Various types of family dysfunctions are manifested in domestic violence and other forms of abuse against the mother. The dreadful treatment of the fairer gender, rapes her of self-esteem, confidence, dignity and other virtues that characterise healthy motherhood. Sometimes this may also result in retaliatory emotions from the mother, vented against the children.

• “Barrel Children”: In an effort to overcome financial hardships, many mothers opt to migrate to the US or Canada “to work”, leaving the children virtually on their own. The only connection these children have with their mothers is the occasional barrel that is sent with stuff for them. In many cases the fathers would migrate for similar reasons, leaving the mother with a clearly unmanageable family situation. Worse still, in some instances, both parents are gone. Many of these youths later graduate from the food and clothes barrel, to the gun barrel!

• HIV/AIDS: Actually, there is currently quite a vibrant campaign in many parts of the world providing information and education on HIV/AIDS and motherhood. Obviously, this has become necessary because of the magnitude of the problem, relative to HIV-infected pregnancies and the birth of these children, plus all the possible consequences. Infected mothers and/or babies are now a relatively common, but very heart- breaking reality.

• Dual Function: The lack of a father figure in the home puts undue burden on the mother as she desperately attempts the impossible — filling two roles. Although we usually say that a single mother has the function of both father and mother, it is not possible for this to be actually so. Mother’s efforts, as great as they may be, would be lacking, especially in the case of raising boys and the larger family.

• Separation and Divorce: This is another cancerous plague that affects today’s families. The figure now stands at an alarming 5000 divorces per year in TT. And of course, the greater loss usually lies with the woman. In most instances, when the marriage is in trouble, women tend to make the greater effort to keep the family together. When there is divorce, it is sometimes therefore more difficult for her to move on emotionally and economically. Socially, it would seem that a divorced man is more easily accepted by other women, than a divorced woman, by other men.

• Feminism and Gender Consciousness: With the advent of the feminist movement in the 1960s, women radically decided that their roles in society were no longer exclusively home-based. As a result, they entered the world of work and began a successful ascent of the corporate ladder.

Unfortunately, the proponents of feminism led an ugly onslaught against the institution of marriage and motherhood, essentially labelling these a kind of curse, which was merely an instrument of manipulation. This has obviously taken its toll, including the atrocities of the pro-choice doctrine which has resulted in the cold-blooded slaughter of multiplied millions of innocent unborn babies. Despite all these challenges — and more — we still have good reasons to lustily applaud most mothers for the grand contributions they continue to make in fulfilling their unique, God-given assignment.

Two of the greatest former US Presidents had some very striking things to say about their mothers: “My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am, I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” — George Washington. “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.” — Abraham Lincoln. Thank God we still have many mothers like these among us today.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers!