Comic dares Warner to reveal all on FIFA

Warner, who is facing extradition to the United States following an indictment tied to bribery and corruption charges at FIFA, threatened to spill the beans on the wide-ranging FIFA scandal in a televised address on TV6 on June 2 headlined: “Jack Warner: The Gloves Are Off.”

But Oliver, who has heaped criticism on FIFA for treating countries bidding for the World Cup as “cash machines,” responded to Warner with his own broadcast, “The Mittens of Disapproval Are On.”

Oliver has referred to FIFA as “the definition of corruption” and he seemed ready to pounce on Warner after the ex-FIFA vice- president went public with his televised threat. He had mocked Warner’s broadcast saying that anybody could buy time on local television then announced that he purchased air time of his own. In his nearly five-minute broadcast, Oliver whose style of humour is dry but often loaded with zingers, called Warner bluff saying that he was not serious about releasing any information.

Oliver delivered a stinging commentary on Warner and served up lines such as, “Seriously, I have been looking through the indictment and good luck with that.”

He even joked that Warner’s sons are already co-operating with the US authorities and by failing to do, things could look a bit awkward for the Independent Labour Party leader.

Following Oliver’s broadcast there was no immediate response from Warner - subsequent social media postings on his Facebook page ignored Oliver.

Speaking directly to Warner, Oliver said: “The point is Mr Warner, do not blue-ball the entire planet by promising spectacular FIFA revelations and not delivering.”

He followed this up with a plea. “I am begging you. Release everything because here is my argument. Why the hell not?” To spice the broadcast up a bit, Oliver injected some local slangs in the broadcast saying, “I have actually Googled some Trinidadian slangs to help me get my message across so um um. ‘Family watch me for a minute nah!’ ‘What’s the scene?’ ‘I know you getting tabanca right now.’

Taking a dig at himself he continued: “I’d just pause for a second to allow the people of Trinidad to laugh at the whitest person who ever lived attempting to speak Trini and instead but sounding real dotish ent, but aye aye... Let’s put that aside, Trinidad.” Oliver even joked that Warner could get some love if he spills all saying: “Snitches gets smooches. That’s what they say. That’s the phrase. So please release the documents, Mr Warner, and you may yet salvage your complete tattered reputation.”

Perhaps his harshest words yet came when Oliver was wrapping up the rant and explaining why Warner should talk. “Well, put it this way, and right now Jack, everybody hates you now, I mean literally, everybody. I think it’s something to do with you seeming like an absolutely terrible human being,” he charged.

He even talked about forgiveness. “But if you turn on FIFA do not underestimate how much people might be willing to forgive and if one day you end up in jail and you’re staring up at the ceiling, wouldn’t you be happy to know you took some people down with you?”

Though popular in the United States for hosting HBO’s news satire Last Week Tonight and making appearances on the Daily Show, the quick-witted Oliver is relatively unknown in Trinidad and Tobago.

Shortly after his broadcast aired social media exploded with comments about how he was out of line to purchase air time on local television to insult a son of the soil.

For many persons, Oliver was not funny and he was simply ripping into the country rather than the man. They also questioned why he was allowed to buy air-time on TV6.

But others disagreed pointing out it was satire and also highlighting that Warner’s own actions have tarnished the country’s image.