Like fine wine

There was no fanfare and little celebration of her achievement of this milestone. The last few years of her life have been consumed in what is the oddest custody battles I have ever heard of, so there were no resources or energy to celebrate. However, I think getting older is something worth celebrating no matter the circumstance. In my family we have a tradition of rounding our age upward (yes, I mean upward).

For five years I held ‘pre-30th’ birthday parties, in anticipation of the milestone. Now that I am looking at 30 in the rearview and speeding, I can appreciate what a gift it is to get older.

I am reminded of an old classmate’s mother who remained 35 for the entire length of her secondary school life. Rumours had it she was 35 during her daughter’s primary school years too. Hilarious! Age deniers aside, the current wave of murders and accidental deaths makes me think that getting older is nothing to be embarrassed of. Yes bits and pieces begin to sag and some head further south for the winter and it’s a bit depressing. A now deceased editor once told me many years ago, “Old age is horrible”, he said. “Now when you can finally do the thing good, you don’t even have the strength to do it anymore.” He was a riot and he, along with another retired journalist we used to call ‘Mr. TNT’ taught me the first perk of getting older: You can get away with saying the most outrageous things. I think this is the bit about getting older I’m looking forward to the most. I’m already short tempered and have a biting wit I’m tired of keeping in check. I’d like to let it _ y but social graces don’t permit me to, not yet at least.

Old age will let me take the flter off. I don’t plan to get unhinged and put my foot in my mouth like a particular American presidential candidate that shall remain unnamed. Rather I think it will be refreshing to be my blunt honest self and not have to be so diplomatic and make the truth more palatable.

Coco Chanel said the face you have after 30 is the face you’ve earned. When you are young, your youth alone makes you sexy and beautiful. When you are older and you’ve earned your face, then you can be truly beautiful. We all know at least one woman or man that has aged like a fine wine.

There is an undeniable sexiness that comes witflh the worldliness and experience that only comes with age. Relationships also become more mature and substantial. I remember being very annoyed as a young woman that it was almost impossible for the men my age to look past my appearance and get the fact that I was in fact more attractive inside than on the outside. Eventually I gave up and just dated men at least ten years older than me. When I was in secondary school I used to threaten to grow up to become a cougar in a too short skirt and red lipstick in bars picking up younger guys. Now that I’m older I’m even more comfortable with the idea of dating a man younger than myself (though I hate short skirts and red lipstick and I’ve outgrown the bar scene). There’s nothing wrong with a May/December romance and being older means you’re free to do what you want. If a friend or family member disapproves, refer to the first perk and make use of it.

You want to know the other thing I’m looking forward to? Retirement. I live in a neighbourhood of retirees and I can tell you the old time grannies with bad wigs and fuzzy cloth bags don’t exist anymore. These retirees are some of the most vibrant and active senior citizens I have ever met.

They are always jetting off somewhere or cruising to some exotic port of call or another. There is little time while working to do the things you want to do.

Even when you get your little vacation time you are forced to limit yourself and can only squeeze so much in the time you do have. Retirees have all the time in the world, two weeks not enough? Extend your ticket and make it a month so you can really explore and get a chance to really experience a place, not just zip through like a tourist.

You want to know another great perk about getting older? You get to see the results of raising your children. The seeds you’ve sown and tended for all those years, you get to see the end results.

If you’ve pointed your children on the straight and narrow road and created the environment for them to flourish, you get to reap the benefits.

The other good part? No more little children to take care of. Some grandparents are the sole caregiver for their grandchildren, but for most older people grandchildren are just welcome visitors that you get to give back to their parents when you don’t feel like dealing with them anymore. As a parent with a young child, I am encouraged that as I grow older so does he, and one day he’ll be independent and self-supporting. While for now I have no problem with the whole doing without and self-sacrificing bit, I have no intention of doing it forever. I know there’s quite a bit of time before my son becomes independent but I’m really looking forward to the day my nest becomes empty.

Don’t be fooled, getting older is not all about false teeth, walking sticks and adult diapers. There are lots of positives to getting older. To quote one of my favourite Paul Keens-Douglas poems De Christenin’ he says “Old ladies ain’t get old by being stupid.” There is a wisdom that comes from navigating life that GATE doesn’t cover. It is through the knocks and storms of life as we experience both the good and the bad that we grow and develop and mature. I’m looking forward to it, I’ll be the cantankerous old lady, jet setting and cruising all over the world with a young trophy husband in tow. I can’t wait!!