HIV/ AIDS after 30 years The Girlfriends discuss if we have again become complacent about sexual hea

Even though AIDS has been around for over 30 years with a sustained public awareness campaign that has been vigorous and widespread, there are still many new cases diagnosed locally annually. With all the information available and easy access to condoms (as they’re relatively cheap in the pharmacies and even free from the FPA) have we really become complacent once again with our sexual health? This week the girlfriends share some deeply personal experiences as they seek to shed some more light on this topic.

Martie: Ahhhhh, I have a theory on that. I think that the middle to upper social classes have become complacent because “it doesn’t happen to us”. There was an initial scare back in the day that made people panic but that panic seems to have disappeared. Back then, everything was AIDS, just like how cancer awareness is everywhere now.

Ronz: I suspect AIDS rates are lower due to better medications, so people are living longer with HIV that doesn’t progress to actual AIDS.

Kimba: I _ nd Trinbagonians generally real brave outchea and have a lot of unprotected sex...

Martie: I agree to a point Kimba, there was a time when everyone was careful re protection. The scare factor, especially in the mid/upper social classes has diminished so being careful has also. I think the younger generation is less so especially cause it’s not in “pop culture”.

Staci: These days there are so many folks (young and old alike) that are FWB (friends with bene_ ts). When the mark buss, it’s because they pregnant, have several FWB arrangements and have to do a couple paternity tests to determine who the baby daddy is. I always say better a baby than HIV but how you sleeping with several people with no protection though??

Mel: You can’t abort AIDS!

Ronz: I think there’s always been a segment of the population who lives with the “it can’t happen to me” mentality for whatever reason. When AIDS was limited to gay men straight people said, “It can’t happen to me”. When IV drug users started getting it, non-drugs users said, “It can’t happen to me”. When straight people started getting it, married people and people in monogamous relationships said, “It can’t happen to me”. Point is, someone always thinks it can’t happen to them. “I’m safe”, “I don’t sleep around”, “I only sleep with people who are clean” blah blah blah, the rationalizations are endless. A scary stat that I came across not too long ago that the demographic with rising infection rates was young, straight women! Partly due to messages that people can live with HIV because medications work well and can get your virus load so low, that it’s not showing up on tests.

Staci: Got this from UNAIDS website: “We’ve reached the goal of providing 15 million people with access to life-saving HIV treatment by 2015. Additionally, UNAIDS estimates that from 2002 to 2012, expanded access to HIV treatment averted 4.2 million deaths globally and contributed to a 58% reduction in new HIV infections.” So to me, the disease is no longer a death sentence, which reinforces what you say Ronz.

Rors: I have a friend, guy who was raped by a “straight” male friend of his. A few months later, he found out he had HIV, and so he called people he’d slept with to let them know, including the friend who raped him. This rapist’s response was nonchalantly, “Yea, you got it from me most likely.” Just thought I’d share as a different perspective on the spread of the disease.

Martie: Wow, the one who gave him AIDS will burn in hell, that’s for sure.

Ronz: There’s lots of “straight” men having sex with gay men. Many pay for it by soliciting sex workers who are clearly men dressed as women or even men who are “on the down low”. So they out there having risky, unprotected sex with men and then coming home and having sex good and normal with their wives.

Martie: Stuff like that is to be made public, especially if this rapist with AIDS is walking around normal, going around unsuspecting women and men…put them on blast on Facebook I say.

Rors: I wonder how many people do get justice? My rapist still lives in the same house he molested me in, as back then my family was advised not to go to court because I’d have to be cross examined and just the thought of that prevented it from going any further legally. So basically I was forced to deal with the trauma of it for years internally, it was only after a breakdown was I able to finally discuss it openly with my mother. I’m certain there’s sooooo many other cases like mine. Even though I’m in a better place now, I still get the urge to crawl out my skin sometimes. It’s not nice when you’re with someone you love and one stray thought spirals until you don’t want to be touched. It confuses someone to say the least.

Kimba: My heart breaks for you…

Staci: Wow Rors, thanks for sharing that with us…lord only knows…

Nick: I truly empathize, I went through something similar right before I was a teenager. The hashtag that’s trending now #lifeinleggings took a whole new meaning when women began to share their horror stories of being sexually assaulted. I’ve never spoken about it like never ever ever everrrrrr, this is the first time actually. Fortunately for me no diseases were contracted but the mental aftermath never ends, no matter how much you try an put it to the back of your head. You just learn to live one day at a time.

Rors: Y’all seeing how many footballers coming out about having been sexually abused by their coaches? Hundreds so far, they’ve even set up a hotline! They took the abuse repeatedly for years thinking they had to, to succeed. So tying it back to our AIDs topic, imagine how many victims of abuse, rape and sexual assault have to suffer even further because following their attacks their status also changes to positive.

Look out for the next installment of The Girlfriends where we delve deeperinto the #lifeinleggings movement sweeping the interweb, where countless women from around the world are participating by sharing deeply personal, life altering incidents of sexual abuse.

The Girlfriends is a group of 15 women between the ages of 26 - 45 who are willing to give an unadulterated look into their own experiences. Some names have been changed for privacy.