Teaching our boys to become men

While modern society condemns all forms of violence, it is a statistical fact that violence against women by men continues to be a scourge on our cultural and social fabric.

In analysing the issue, it would be wise to look at the problem from a social, cultural and historical context.

It is important to understand that boys don’t just become violent men but are very often socialised into violent behaviour. Violence unfortunately pervades our society in many forms – psychological, verbal and physical.

The entertainment industry continues to glorify violence. In homes and communities, boys are witnesses to girls and women being abused, with physical violence used as a weapon of control.

At school these images, having been implanted in their minds from a very tender age, are reflected in their behaviour and attitudes towards girls. Messages of respect for girls and by extension women from school authorities very often leave boys confused, for they hear one thing in school but live another.

Our modes of socialisation are still rooted in old notions of patriarchy.

This kind of thinking is even perpetuated by mothers themselves, so messages from teachers to the contrary only serve to heighten the state of confusion.

Compounding the situation are individual biases in the way teachers perceive the issue.

Given that approximately 75 percent of the teaching fraternity is female, one would have thought that reorienting the thinking of boys in this regard would be easy. That is where it becomes quite complex and the issue of history and its impact on culture requires careful and calculated attention by school personnel. Not to be ignored in this discourse on violence is the rising level of female violence that has become the norm in many communities and the nation’s schools. The social media videos bear this out. It usually begins with intense verbal violence which quickly escalates into physical violence.

Bullying and gang violence have become quite common among girls. Social media have become a popular medium through which violence is initiated. How can boys and girls be taught to be respectful of themselves and others? How can they be taught to resolve conflict without resorting to any form of violence? How can teachers instil in students standards of socially acceptable conduct that reject what they have been learning in their homes and communities? How can schools help to break the vicious cycle of violence that pervades the society? What is clear is that any attempt to treat with violence against women must be part of a bigger attempt to treat with the issue of societal violence, deviance and general indiscipline.

Schools must begin the conversation to address these questions as part of our mandate to create a better society.

In fulfilling our social responsibility, we must not be afraid to lead the transformation efforts in our quest to produce good, decent, productive human beings. While curriculum delivery remains our primary responsibility, it must be remembered that we are society’s architects of the future.

The conversation must first begin within our own minds and then among our colleagues.

Our boys must be guided into becoming, understanding and embracing the redefined role of women, respecting and treating them as equals and not as property or threats to