Making that transition from primary to secondary school

there were a lot of decisions to be made such as whether to attend the school, repeat, or transfer. In an interview with Sunday Newsday last week, Jogie said it was a good idea for the children to take a vacation to bring them down from the stress of the SE A. She said if the parent was also disappointed.

it made no sense doing and saying things that would put extra pressure on the child or make him or her feel worse. Therefore it was important to talk to the child and make sure he or she was comfortable with the next step in their education career. Jogie said parents should expect an adjustment period to the new school, new and increased number of subjects, new teachers and new students. That may last from one week to one term. “Socially, they are transitioning from a school they were very comfortable in, one that was perhaps more nurturing. They will be anxious going into a new environment and meeting new faces.” One way to reduce that anxiety was by an orientation. She said whether it was an official orientation or a “’just a look around” the new school during registration.

it was a good idea for the child to get an idea as to the layout of the school so they do not feel completely lost on their first day. She also advised that parents make their children aware of any situations which may occur, including bullying and parents should coach and guide the child on what they should do or say if these things happen. Jogie suggested if parents know of another student from the child’s primary school who would be attending the same secondary school, the children could be paired up. “That would be like a buffer or safety net. Yes, eventually they would make their own friends but at least they would have some comfort having someone they are familiar with at this new school.” Parents, she said, should talk to their child after school, find out about their day, be observant and deduce if the child was really enjoying it. HARD WORK Jogie said in secondary school.

children have to study at least 12 subjects instead of the five or six in primary school. She said the children need to develop good organisational and time management skills and parents should be the ones to help. That means parents should be highly involved in the child’s school work, at least during the first few weeks of secondary school, until he or she could cope on their own. “One major thing to look for in a child when they get into high school is if they could manage in the school they pass for. You were giving the child so much guidance before, are you sure the child could cope in this secondary school?” She said the child could become so overwhelmed that he or she does not perform well. She said if that becomes apparent, parents would have to make some tough choices. “You do not want your child to constantly be facing failure. You want your child to feel successful. If it means moving the child to a less fast-paced environment so they could catch up, that’s better.

or get them additional lessons. Whatever it is, balance between school work, socialising and leisure is important.” In these cases, some concerned parents go to Jogie. She assesses the child who may have issues which prevent them from excelling, including learning, emotional or social problems. “We rule out what could be, look at what the strengths are, focus on building the strengths, find out what the weaknesses are and try to accommodate those, and do what we can do to help the child. The child might need concessions or accommodations if he or she is to stay in the school. The school will need to understand that the child has certain weaknesses and try to help the child while the parents take any necessary steps.” GROWING PAINS Clinical psychologist Nidhi Kirpalani said at that age children have to deal with the loss of their old life.

insecurities, handle puberty and the biological, neurological effects it has, as well as trying to figure out what their roles are and what groups they fit in. She said most children have to say goodbye to friends who they may never see again, and many will lose the comfort of those relationships. “They lose the comfort of the life they have lived for several years. At this stage, the children mourn the loss of their friends.

their identity and the life they knew. Children congratulate their friends who succeeded and console those who didn’t. It’s rough for an 11-year-old.” Some children may have also been at the top of their class in primary school and pass for an elite secondary school, but may not always be at the top in their new school. “Children go from being the oldest and smartest in their schools, and knowing their roles to an entirely new environment where they are the youngest and most unsettled in the school. They now must find their new identity.

assign a new role to themselves.

and figure out what they want their image to be during this time. Unfortunately.

kids don’t always realise that everyone else is trying to figure this out too, and think they are alone.” Kirpalani said some schools have a high rate of violence or sexual activity, so the child would have to learn how to avoid trouble or whether they want to be part of this crowd. “All these issues could be new to the child. This is all part of figuring out a new life and how to fit in with little negative impact upon them.” Therefore, she advised parents to support their children, take the time to listen and talk to them about issues that may arise, and prepare them for harsh realities. She said parents should also get to know their children’s friends and know age-appropriate activities in which they can engage. “Let your child know they can come to you if they need help, and that you or someone they can trust will be there. Most importantly.

let your child be themselves. Keep in contact with their schools and congratulate them on even small accomplishments and help them develop a healthy self-esteem. They are almost teenagers and will make mistakes. Love them and hug them even when they do.” She also encouraged teachers to engage parents on how to navigate their children through the new school. She suggested teachers pay attention to children who are isolating themselves or under-performing as they may be having an extra difficult time. She said they should talk to students, their parents.

and even refer children to individual counselling. To the new Form 1 students.

Kirpalani is encouraging them to support their peers, and not to endorse bullying or segregation. She said it was important to dream big dreams and work towards their goals, to join new activities and explore.

and to talk with their parents and families about issues. “There’s a lot more to learn. It’s okay to feel scared, anxious, or even grieve the loss of your old life. Know that there are people there for you to listen if you need. Talk to your parents, school teachers.

or trusted adults who can help you through. Most importantly, know that there is a future for you wherever you choose it to be.”