Tell-tale signs of a mug punter
ARE YOU a mug punter? Not only in local racing but in foreign racing as well? It’s a difficult syndrome to admit to, but every punter owes it to himself and his wallet to face up to the possibility. Here are just a few of the tell-tale signs:
1 Do you ever punt for no better reason than that you’re bored? If so, remember: Bookmakers love your sort. In fact, you’re just the type of person who prevents them from giving up their demanding occupation and becoming voluntary workers in the Arab world instead.
2 Do you ever look at a card and say to yourself: “This is bloody hopeless. I’ve never even heard of half these horses” — and then decide to have a bet anyway just because “you never know your luck?”
If so, please refer to the second part of 1.
3 Do you ever back horses because they’re “one of yours,” meaning that they are animals on whom you have won money in the past and you would hate to see them win again without your collecting anything as a result?
4 Do you ever back horses “blind” on the grounds that So-and-So wouldn’t have bothered to bring his horse all way to Batty Park if he didn’t think he had a very good chance? (Be honest now).
5 Do you ever bet jockeys rather than horses on the grounds that “there’s nothing much between this lot, but you know you’re going to get a ride out of Harding/McCoy/Jadoo /Fallon/Dettori/Rajkumar?”
6 Has it never occurred to you that the bookmakers will have factored in the ability of the jockey when deciding the price to offer and that you are therefore doing yourself no real favours by following your heroes in this undiscriminating way?
7 Do you ever back horses even though they are to be ridden by jockeys you know, either from your experience or their inexperience, offer a very high likelihood of a foul-up? Do you, in other words, ever say to yourself: “Yes, I know Soap is absolutely dreadful, or that Wasteoftime has only had three rides in public, or that the amateur in question has a multi-syllabic, double-barrelled name and a somewhat vacant look in her eye that could well be the result of activities which have taken place between midnight and dawn this very morning? But would (insert the name of the trainer for whom they are riding) have put him/her up if he didn’t think he/she was capable of doing the job?”
8 Does it never occur to you that Soap may have been put up because he has acquired for himself a reputation as an ideal man to help get a handicap mark down, and that Wasteoftime may be given the ride purely for experience or because the trainer promised him he’d get rides as well as having to shovel dung (and this one doesn’t matter much anyway) or because the trainer happens to know some of the Wasteoftime family and has become sick to death of their constantly asking him: “When are you going to give our Bobby another ride then? You know he’s keen as mustard.”
9 Has it occurred to you that the amateur with the vacant look in her eye may just be getting the leg-up as a reward for other services rendered, or — even more likely — in the hope that because her leg has been so thoughtfully raised in this manner these services may well be rendered at some time in the very near future?
10 Do you ever back horses about whose attitude you have been warned or about whose attitude you have your own reasons for doubt, on the grounds that “Everyone thinks this one doesn’t put it in, but one of these days he’s going to and I reckon today is going to be the day?” (Oh ye of excessive faith).
11 Do you ever oppose a horse not just because you don’t think it can win, but because the most irritating person you know has been going round telling everyone it’s his banker of the day, and the thought of being able to lean against a wall with a fake apologetic smile on your face as you count the many notes that have been given to you as a result of your obviously superior assessment of the race is just too delightful to be able to resist?
12 Do you often bet in shops? Has it not occurred to you that the ten percent “deduction” makes it impossible for you to be anything other than a net contributor in the long or even the medium term?
13 Has point 12 occurred to you, but you have just said “S... that. I like doing this too much to stop anyway?”
14 Do you believe in the phenomenon known as The Life-Changing Licksallthetime?
15 Have you ever put money into a Lotto machine instead of Cash-Pot?
You know what the “right” answers to these questions should be. If your answer to any of them is the “wrong” one (particularly 15) you are, regrettably, a mug.
If you’ve given the wrong answer to three questions or more, get help. If you’ve given the wrong answer to five questions or more, welcome to the club. You’re one of the people who keeps this great sport alive.
As for Carnival, be safe and arrive alive.
For the best in Web-site management and change management check cornelius-associates.com
Comments
"Tell-tale signs of a mug punter"