The search for the right man

Since time immemorial, women have been searching for the right man. Men, who are normally quite self confident approach me on a daily basis and say “you know, I am the right man for you.” Such a huge laugh wells up inside when I hear this. Can any man ever be the right man? I began thinking of the qualities I would like that would make a man the right man? I would have said perfect but that seems too far-fetched.  Men, of course, always think they’re perfect (already) and just to prove that they are not, let’s see how the average Trini male will do on my yet to be patented “Are you a good man” test.

Just answer the following yes/no questions (all of which have an explanation). Please bear in mind that these are the minimum requirements of almost every woman, so if you answer “yes” to ten of the 11 questions (the right ten that is!) then you are indeed the perfect man!

The next time you plan to approach and tell me that you are the right man for me, be sure to bring along the answers to this test.
1) Do other men compliment you on your appearance (and I don’t mean just a casual glance)?
Explanation: This in itself would simply prove that you’re well groomed and handsome in that respect. This, however, is not a huge deciding factor with some women but it is a huge consolation when looking for the right man.
2) Do you prepare at least two meals per week (no KFC or Friday’s please, I mean by yourself)?
Explanation: There is no catch to this. It is simple. Can you cook and are you willing to cook at least twice a week when we get married? Almost every woman has the breakfast in bed fantasy and they don’t mean breakfast in a hospital bed.
3) Would you laugh if you and your girlfriend attend a pool party and your most expensive and gorgeous sunglasses fell on the ground and she accidentally stepped on it?
Explanation: A yes to this question would show that you are not aggravated easily and that you do indeed have a sense of humour (and an extra pair of “back up” shades).
4) Would you tell your present girlfriend the truth about your past loves (if she asks)?
Explanation: Honesty is very important in any relationship; how many Trini men do you know that possess this unique quality? Trusting any Trini man is quite difficult anyway. Remember, we are famous for coining the words “Deputy”, “Outside ting” and “Taking a Borrow”! If you answer yes to this question, contact me immediately!
5) Would you change your hairstyle if she thinks you’ll look better?
Explanation: This shows that you’re quite open to constructive criticism, another rare quality in Trini men. Of course, if your hairstyle is similar to a mop and everybody is complaining about the flies... I rest my case.
6) Have you received a pay cheque from the same company every month for the past year?
Explanation: This shows that there is some sort of stability in your life. Stability is yet another very important quality, not to mention job security.
7) Would you prefer a Playboy magazine over a Kahlil Gibran or a Stephen Covey?
Explanation: Intellect! What most Trini men lack. Now if you have no idea who these people are, get thee to a library or book store, toute suite!
8) Are you willing to shop with your girlfriend for a pair of shoes that matches her rainbow outfit?
Explanation: Stop laughing guys! This shows that you have patience... lots of patience! We know how we get when we enter a shoe store. This quality is necessary when dealing with women. And the shoes she buys will be on her feet when you take her to dinner!
9)Would you stop at a pay phone when your cell is out of the service area (to quote my very good friends at TSTT) to tell her that you’re okay and that you were just wondering if she is too?
Explanation: This shows that you care and are considerate, not to mention the fact that you will most likely escape a quarrel if you didn’t call. (We do worry about your safety, you know!)
10) Do you have a (cute) twitch whenever you lie?
Explanation: Everybody has told a fib or two in life, but it seems that some men have it down to an art form. Not all men can tell a fool proof lie, and their body reactions sometimes give them away by a telltale twitch, blink or even a ridiculous grin. So if your answer to this question is yes, you need to contact me right now.
11) Last and by no means least, do you believe that with God all things are possible?
Explanation: This shows that you are spiritual and that you believe God is in control of everything. A godly relationship is the most successful relationship.
Your Score: If you have answered yes to:
8 to 9 questions: Brother, where art thou?
7 - 5 questions: There’s some girl waiting out there for you, you need to look well.
Under 4: You seriously need some assistance. You are not husband material. Sorry.
The only question you should have answered no to is question seven.
Disclaimer: In conclusion, this test should by no means be taken too seriously, simply because I cannot speak for every woman in Trinidad and Tobago.
The views expressed in this piece are not those of every woman in Trinidad and Tobago and should be viewed as a humorous Q &A by me. I am not looking for a husband, per se, but to you women who are looking for that perfect man, you need to conduct your search with care and optimism, for there are good men out there... although they may not possess all of these qualities.