DEAR PRIME MINISTER

The PM’s terse note to his WASA chairman last Wednesday left me more confused than impressed. Puzzled because when the copy of Manning’s three-paragraph letter came sliding through Newsday’s fax machine, I was already aware that the Guardian newspaper report, which had provoked the memo to Roland Baptiste, had been inaccurate.

How did I know that the story was wrong and that the Board, as ordered, had reduced the salary of WASA CEO, Errol Grimes, to its original price tag of $36,000? Because Newsday’s senior political reporter, Ria Taitt had called the minister in charge of all public utilities, Senator Rennie Dumas and he had explained to her that the reporter who had written the story had misunderstood what he was telling her about Grimes’ monthly pay. The CEO was not getting $50,000.

So if Ria could check the veracity of the story with the Minister, why couldn’t or hadn’t Manning done the same? Surely he had his Minister’s phone number. Was it that Dumas had told his secretary to give Manning the usual lines, ministers’ aides employ on the media? Had he said, “If the PM rings, tell him I’m in a meeting, or out of the office.” Otherwise, the note to Baptiste made no sense. The Prime Minister was trying to bolt an already locked stable door. One hoped this was not another of his “fire by fax” episodes. The sole purpose of such a memo to Baptiste had to be that Manning wanted voters to know he could, and would be, firm with State boards, a promise he made at the start of his term in office. Fine with me.

But the WASA board, which gave Grimes the $50,000 wage, was small fish. While these were always tasty to a corruption-full population when fried, I personally preferred the sharks, with bake if possible. What I wanted was for the PM to promise that he would draw the strings on the public purse tightest when it came to million-dollar unnecessary expenditure. However, was this an assurance he could give? Given the millions being spent on a URP project for PNM supporters called CEPEP while the indebted health sector suffered and bridges collapsed, I doubted it. Even more millions were being expended to build housing projects in the marginal seats, as if the party in power had embarked on its own voter padding campaign. Manning would have to write letters to himself like the one he sent the WASA chairman.
His sharpest worded dispatch would concern the Red House project:

April 26, 2003

The Honourable Patrick Manning
Prime Minister
Republic of Trinidad and Tobago

Dear Sir

I read with the utmost alarm, an article on page 5 of yesterday’s Newsday, which alleges that you plan to demolish the new Magistrates’ Courts and erect in their stead, a parliament. I further read that this widespread demolition and construction is in order for you to take occupation of the Red House. The article, to my even greater dismay, claimed that such a project would cost millions. These are unnecessary monies, in my esteemed opinion, as the people of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago already have a legislature and you, an office at Whitehall, which if necessary can be extended. Should we not be spending these funds where they are most needed? Did we not promise the public we would be less profligate than our predecessors were?

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that prior to the 2002 campaign, you gave me the assurance that during this term, there would be no Father of the Nation stunts, or for that matter, faxed letters. As Prime Minister of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago, I am calling upon you to ensure that the Parliament stays exactly where it is currently situated, that no bulldozers fell the Courts and that you remain at Whitehall. Inasmuch as this matter if of paramount national concern, I shall expect a response within twenty-four hours.

Yours Sincerely
Patrick Manning

PS. Are we not spending enough on marginal housing and CEPEP, as it is?

Following is the PM’s reply to his own communication:

April 27, 2003

Dear Pat,

Why the formality, man? You don’t have to hand me that kind of tone or ultimatum. I thought you were down with the programme cause we talked about this a few months ago. I hope you are not becoming forgetful. Should we see a doctor? Don’t you remember we agreed that the constituents of the marginals are always the ones in need, which is why their streets are paved before every election and why we MUST construct these dwellings? Pat, we also agreed that if our generosity happened to bring a few extra votes our way, then so be it. To hell with the critics! And, I just don’t get your CEPEP blues, man. Remember how during our 1991-1995 term, we forgot the PNM core support.

How this time we said we’d go back to our roots and keep the supporters environmentally and monetarily green until 2007 even if they had to uproot and plant trees in cycles for the next five years. And, how we were laughing when we said that if they got tired of that, how they could trade their blue overalls for orange ones and paint lines on the highway? Come on, Pat. We had a deal. Hey, brother, what’s this nonsense about the new parliament? This is our best thing.  As I recall it, you were there too, when the Almighty Himself visited La Fantasie and told us that the Red House was Our divine destiny. In fact, You were the one who gave him Your word that His prophecy would become Our reality. You know Pat, you really have to learn to ignore the fussing of these hard to please voters until 2006. Forget them. We have time and God is on Our side.
So just chill.

Ours,
Part Manning.

PS. Didn’t I say to stop reading the papers?