Abuse thrives in silence

Of course we can say that the (Court) system failed since her medical history suggested that she should not have been allowed to return to the home environment which ultimately led to her death.

I cannot imagine the pain she endured in her four short years being physically and sexually abused.

Residents jeered one of the suspects apprehended for the crime but where was the loud condemnation from neighbours while Emily was alive and enduring her misery?

Abuse thrives in silence.

In an interview, Emily’s biological father said he could not recall the last time he saw Emily and had only seen her four times since she was born. Jason Walker admitted that he separated from Emily’s mother shortly after the birth. Walker said he visited the child at hospital and saw signs of abuse—marks on the skin and bruises. He tried to find out what happened and was unconvinced with the answers he received. “Many” people told him about the abuse but according to Walker he had “no say because I never really used to support her.”

We can have our views on his lack of involvement in Emily’s life and failure to take charge as a father but he probably has his own pain to live with.

The murder of Akiel Chambers, Sean Luke, and Dane Andrews are other high profile reminders of how the most vulnerable in society fall prey. Children who experience abuse undergo a change. Adults who are vigilant may notice the change? Unfortunately, children who act out can be labelled as deviants.

Remember the case of the boy at a Port-of-Spain primary school who was allegedly making sexual advances on schoolmates? Where did he learn these acts? The response was an uproar and calls for the child to be removed. I wonder what ever happened with that case?

Or what ever happened to the two underage girls who were hanging out at a bar and subsequently went to a house with men, where they were gang raped? There was another case not long ago about an eight-year-old who was having sex with several men for money. Her mother was the instigator.

There are many other cases which do not make the news pages.

I heard about a boy who was the victim of abuse by his father. The abuse only came out when he was at the home of his friend and casually asked, “Your father don’t ..... you?”

The mother of the friend was so shocked she tried to get help for the boy but his (unemployed) mother was reluctant to make an official report since the abuser was the sole breadwinner. She has six other sons.

According to a counsellor friend of mine, the majority of people in TT society appear to be normal but there is a lot of abormality which is swept under the carpet.

She said social workers need more powers to remove children from abusive environments and legislation needs to be overhauled. She said non-governmental organisations which provide support for victims of abuse should not have to be begging the Government for more funding. Most NGOs try their best although their resources are stretched to meet the demands placed on them.

While corporate organisations have no reservations when it comes to assisting with training programmes and special projects, the actual day-to-day cost of running these organisations receives no financial help.

Head of the Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Diana Mahabir-Wyatt recently had to make a public appeal for funding since that organisation has been experiencing financial difficulty meeting its monthly administrative costs estimated at $25,000.

Decreased resources have resulted in the coalition cutting back on a programme which provides counselling to men who batter and assists children from abusive homes with shoes, uniforms and travelling expenses.

The Rape Crisis Society is getting $66,000 annually or $16,500 quarterly from the Government.

“Any training programme or course everyone will fund but once you say the salaries of five people need to be paid, that is not something they want to get involved in,” an official of an organisation said. Families in Action receives $5,000 monthly from the Government. They have appealed many times for an increase but only get promises. The organisation would like to hire more trained counsellors however, the question is who will meet the cost of their salaries? In the meantime they carry on with their overworked staff.

The community policing unit which the society so badly needs has been disbanded.

It is only after a spotlight is placed on some particular case of abuse is there vociferous outrage and the questions are asked.

Sometimes the issues with abuse are so intractable we just give in to passivity. But the truth is this, abuse not only scars the victim, it scars the society.

Abuse victims who do not get any therapy end up on a downward spiral in their adulthood. Whether they turn to alcohol or hard drugs or prostitution, they can also become the thing they hate—the abuser. It is a cycle from which some people never recover.