Examining God

CHRISTIANITY

1. The Bible says, “And Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.” (Genesis 4:16)

Questions:

(a) If Adam and Eve were the only two people on Earth, does Nod’s population provide Biblical proof of asexual reproduction?

(b) Was every inhabitant of that city a Yesman?

(c) Did Patrick Manning get his Cabinet there?

2. The Bible says, “If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother...Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city...And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones that he shall die...” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

Questions:

(a) Were children more obedient in Biblical times or more dead?

(b) How many murders would be prevented by stoning stubborn boys to death?

(c) Calculate the number of stones required to kill an average-sized son.

3. In the Bible, Jesus says, “To eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man (Matthew 15:20)

Questions:

(a) Is washing your hands against God’s word, or only if you do it before meals?

(b) If your mother tells you wash your hands and you don’t, should you be stoned to death for rebelliousness?

(c) Is WASA run by true Christians?

4. In the Bible, Jesus says, “If anyman comes to me, and hate not his father and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”(Luke 14:26)

Questions:

(a) Does this verse explain why Jesus could only get 12 disciples?

(b) Can you be a disciple if you only hate your little brother?

(c) If you hate your father and mother, will you be stoned to death?

HINDUISM

1. The Bhagavad-gita says: “It is better to engage in one’s given duty, even though one may perform it imperfectly, than to accept another’s duty and perform it perfectly.”

Questions:

(a) If your mother tells you to wash the dishes, and tells your sister to sweep the yard, will God reincarnate you both as cockroaches if you switch chores?

(b) If you do the dishes imperfectly, will you escape that chore?

(c) If your mother does stop you performing your dish-washing duty imperfectly, will God reincarnate her as a rhinoceros beetle?

2. The Manusamhita states: “Even though he may be able, a sudra must not acquire excess wealth, since when a sudra becomes prosperous he vexes the brahmin with his insolence.”

Questions:

(a) Give the mathematical formula for “excess wealth”, taking into account the cost of ghee, cow’s milk, and Sat Maharaj’s shirtjacs.

(b) Should a brahmin who is vexed by a worker’s wealth take tranquilisers, count to ten, or chant om shanti?

(c) Which is more insolent: stocks or a fixed deposit?

3. In the Vedas, the death penalty is prescribed for poisoning; arson; armed assault; stealing; kidnapping wives; and squatting.

Questions:

(a) Should a cook be hanged for leaving food out too long?

(b) What should the penalty be for kidnapping women who don’t have husbands?

(c) Would a UNC administration execute all the people living in Bangladesh in St Joseph?

ISLAM

1. The Qu’ran says, “So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah has guarded. As for those from whom you fear rebellion, scold them and banish them to a separate bed and whip them.” (4:34 )

Questions:

(a) If a good woman is obedient, does a better woman roll over and play dead?

(b) Should a rebellious woman be beaten with a tamarind whip, a leather belt, or a riding crop?

(c) If a man cannot afford a separate bed, can he banish the woman to the living-room sofa?

2. The Qu’ran says, “And they who disbelieve and deny our revelations, such are the owners of Hell.” (5:10)

Questions:

(a) Calculate the number of denials needed to purchase Hell.

(b) Is utter disbelief required for ownership of Hell or would reasonable scepticism be sufficient?

(c) If all non-Muslims own Hell, who has the deed?

3. The Qu’ran says, “Allah sends whom He will astray and guides whom He will.” (35:8)

Questions:

(a) Does this verse explain why there are no dog pounds in Islamic countries?

(b) Are guide dogs believers or do they just have a good sense of direction?

(c) What is Islam’s position on stray cats?

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