Test your sports knowledge

How well do you follow the sport news? Ten minutes after you have switched off the latest news, how much of it can you remember? Do you know where your Sports and Culture Fund money is?  Is your memory for trivial sports news voracious? If you went on a Sports News Quiz programme, would you get the answers right, or would you say, like most cricketers, “Well, Dancing Brave, I would rather you had asked me about the story about the state of cricket”? Now is the chance to test yourself!  Here are somenews stories from the last 10 days. Which of them are true and which are false? On your marks, get set.

1. A man in Jackville, Warnerhill, was prosecuted on the very unusual charge of conspiring to entice others to trespass. He was engaged in a vendetta against his next-door neighbour, and devised the unusual plan of annoying him by tying a set of inflated party balloons to his neighbour’s gate.
Everyone assumed that there was a party going on and enough gatecrashers arrived to make the man’s life a nuisance all afternoon, so that he never had a chance to complete his meetings with the government over some football venues.
By the time the man discovered the balloons on his gate outside, he had to deal with over 30 uninvited guests, who wanted to spend up to quarter  of his profits from his ventures. He therefore sued his neighbour on the rare charge of enticing to trespass.
2. The lighthouse at the Arima Race Track in Santa Rosa, which is being moved a short distance, is not being transported for safety reasons or to avoid erosion. The fact is that the Arima Race Club have recently hired a feng shui consultant who has decided that the lighthouse was built in a most unpropitious situation, facing slightly the wrong way, and inviting evil influences from the bookmakers.
The lighthouse is not being taken to another site —- it is in fact being revolved a little so that it faces a luckier direction instead, towards the south.
3. Police were called to a hot Sports Snacks’ n ‘Sandwich bar in a lay-by in Maraval where more than 60 cars were parked and at least 100 people were queuing for service. A little unrest had broken out, with people throwing water over each other.
Police were curious to know why there was such a demand for food and drink. It turned out that the sports bar had recently been awarded a licence for celebrating marriages, and one of their regular Trini Posse drivers had elected to get married there.
The long queue was the wedding reception and the unrest and horseplay with water were an attempt to sober up the best man in time for his speech. The fact that Brian Charles Lara was present was only a coincidence.
4. The Trinidad and Tobago Olympic Committee (TTOC) have discovered a sports-shoes factory run by the National Amateur Athletic Association (NAAA) busy manufacturing shoes that were not designed to be used.
They were only going to be handed over for decommissioning purposes, so that the NAAA could hang on to their real weapons of distress, the athletes who they select every year to waste taxpayers’ money.
5. Anxious to reclaim the $750,000 from the West Indies Cricket Board (WICB)  owed to the Trinidad and Tobago Cricket Board (TTCB). The TTCB have been having secret talks with the present incumbents in Jamaica to see if they can use the same mechanism on the executive of the WICB.
Their talks are being kept very hush-hush because the TTCBC do not want it to seem as if they are trying to get the president sent into cricketing exile. On the other hand, TTCB would dearly love to get some of their due money, because, as one executive puts  it, the TTCB can think of several sporting bodies in the region that are a better credit risk than the old bat’s team.
They are also looking at the possibility of getting some of the Trinidad funds that were extradited to Jamaica and Barbados in error, returned.
 6. Athletes seldom make news during the winter, for the simple reason that athletes are not generally competing during the winter and it is hard to make records in non-existent races. However, athletecerealogists were called out in great excitement last week to a field in the middle of Tunapuna where astounding symmetrical athletic patterns had been spotted in the bare earth, a series of mostly straight, but sometimes wavy lines in very tight parallels, suggesting great agility and mobility. While they were examining the sporting phenomenon, the farmer who owned the field came past that way and informed them somewhat curtly that a) they were trespassing, and b) the patterns were due to the fact that he had ploughed the field the day before.
Did you spot that, in fact, all of the stories were fake, except for the one that was about the netball official and the seven redheaded dwarfs? Please visit www. cornelis — associaties.com for the best website management and change management.