How old is too old?
Hell, Janet Jackson recently became a first-time mother at age 50. Thanks to science, recent advancements in fertility treatments mean that a woman’s biological clock can be silenced, allowing older women to do what was once unthinkable – become pregnant and give birth to a healthy child. Older women are defined as women who get pregnant and give birth at 35 and older.
And while I am glad for all those women who choose to go down that road, it is one I will never again tread. I say “again” because I was no spring chicken when I became a mother and would have had just about ten percent of my eggs left.
According to Medical Daily, “At 20 weeks of pregnancy, a female foetus has a fully developed reproductive system, complete with her entire life’s worth of eggs — six to seven million to be exact. But by the time that woman is 30, she will have lost nearly 90 percent of her eggs, and at age 40, only around three percent of them are left. Most women are no longer able to become naturally pregnant in their mid- 40s. However, while a woman’s eggs have an expiration date, the uterus, or where a fertilised egg will attach and grow, does not.” Uterus aside, it must be noted that the risk of dangerous complications associated with carrying a child and giving birth significantly increase as a woman ages, among them gestational diabetes; high blood pressure during pregnancy; premature birth; having a baby of low birth weight; needing a C-section; having a child with chromosome abnormalities; and experiencing a miscarriage. Additionally, pregnancy takes a more physical toll on the older body, as the symptoms of pregnancy and the weight of carrying a child can be especially more stressful for older women than it would be for younger women.
I spent almost seven months of my pregnancy in a horizontal position on my mother’s couch because the usual symptoms associated with it – spotting, nausea and vomiting, fatigue – were amplified. My doctor explained that this happened more as a result of genetics than age, which I didn’t doubt. My mother often recalls how she fainted outside a church when she was pregnant. When I was able to get my 85-pound self off her couch in my third trimester to go out, I upstaged her and fainted in Pennywise, HiLo (now Massy Stores) and RBC. I’m fairly certain, though, if I had been younger – say in my 20s or late teens – I would have been much more resilient.
Children have a way of demanding attention from the moment they make their grand entrances into the world – day and night until they are about 40ish. The constant changing, feeding, cleaning, hugging and kissing, reading to and playing with and all the activities surrounding taking care of my son was and continues to be a wonderful experience, but trust me it can be exhausting.
He is super hyper and there are days when I wish I was younger to be able to keep up with him.
Things like relaxation, me time, shopping (grocery or otherwise) in peace are all things of the past. My life has morphed into a rush-to-do-everything scene, not that I am complaining. In fact, I can’t imagine life without it and him. If, however, given the opportunity to change anything about it I would certainly have chosen to have him at a younger age just so I could keep up with his round-theclock meanderings.
Fortunately or unfortunately for Janet, her experience in this area will be vastly different because she has nannies and housekeepers at her disposal.
Studies in recent years have shown that being an older mom has many advantages. One Swedish study, “Advanced Maternal Age and Offspring Outcomes: Reproductive Aging and Counterbalancing Period Trends” found that women who postponed fertility to pursue more career opportunities saw more positive long-term outcomes in their children.
“When the researchers analysed data from siblings who essentially had a similar home environment, they noted that the sibling born when the mother was older was taller, stayed in the educational system longer, was more likely to attend university, and performed better on standardised tests than the siblings born when their mother was younger,” the findings of the report published in Psychology Today said.
In another study, “The Relationship Between Maternal Education and Children’s Academic Outcomes”, it was found that because older mothers may have stayed in school longer, their extensive vocabularies when interacting with their young children would have enriched their (children’s) language skills. “Children exposed to more enriched language environments demonstrate more advanced language abilities. Mothers with higher levels of education likely have many friends and family members with high levels of education to act as role models to their children,” which generates influences that promote academic success, the research said.
Some older moms tend to give more parental time and attention, one study found. “More moms who choose to start families later have made strides in or met their career goals, saved money from being in the workforce longer, or increased their earning potential before having babies,” allowing them the luxury of worrying and working less and spending more time with their children.
And for me the findings of this particular study is the frosting on the cake, as it just may increase my chances of living to see all of the ten grandchildren, going on all the vacations and riding in the limousine the boy promised to give me when he grows up.
“A study in Menopause Journal examined older mothers’ life expectancy and found that women who had their last child after the age of 33 are likely to live to 95. In fact, researchers reported that these women had twice the chance of living to 95 or older than those who had their last child before their 30th birthday.” Here’s to a long life, Janet!