Sisterhood: HOAY campaign Breaking ageist stereotypes

The notion that beauty is intrinsically connected to youth seems internalised, with women feeling pressure to look younger. The research also found that answering the question “How old are you?” makes women feel badly.

As Dove brings its HOAY campaign to TT, two local women have been chosen to represent the cause.

Lisa Sarjeant Gonzales, radio announcer and owner of Lisa’s Fabrics, and clothing line, Lisa Faye, says of HOAY: “It’s something I feel strongly about. There’s a nice positive image: every woman; every shape, every size, every age is beautiful.” Editor at Trinidad Lookbook, Mel Gabriel, shares similar sentiments. “I’m getting older, for one, and when I think about age and beauty and being a young woman in Trinidad … I was more than excited about it. It’s hard being a woman; you have so many expectations to live up to. Once I can get a chance to spread a message of positivity and confidence, I would jump at that opportunity anytime.” Both women think the campaign sheds more light on the struggles women may face as they grace – and offers a safe public space to discuss such matters.

Mel hopes the campaign will raise awareness, saying, “Once we accept this type of conversation happening in a space that’s not just women only, but women-friendly, I think it’s a good move.” Lisa says, “I am getting older and I embrace these things. Not all women do because society is pretty harsh but a lot of it is in our minds. We need more self-love and appreciation of you.” She thinks that from head-to-toe, women should appreciate and take care of their one body. Her philosophy is when you love yourself, you love others better and have a healthier mindset, which goes on to impact those around you. “You realise this is all I have, this is all of me – and you appreciate that.” Mel thinks men can also learn a thing or two about pressures they may put on women. “Men can learn to give women a break,” she says with a laugh. “At this stage, every single thing comes from The Woman: every single movement, every single life, flows from womanhood. Some men are great, but some are more narrow-minded when it comes to accepting the fact that a woman grows older and is still gorgeous and confident.” She knows that the men in women’s lives can lend a hand in building or sustaining a woman’s confidence in how awesome they are at any age.

Lisa and Mel also have unique perspectives as it relates to ageing through their professional lives. Mel admitted that her interns, between the ages of 19 and 20, were complaining about turning another year. She says playfully, “I’m like, ‘Yo, live your life. You’re fine; instead of focusing on getting older, focus on being the best adult you can be. Now you’re an adult and you have the opportunity to do whatever you want, exceed it and make it yours. Be your best self.’” As she adds, there are no set rules to ageing.

As a textile painter and designer, Lisa has recently gained new confidence in herself. “I recently opened up my shop – I decided to do what makes me happy. It’s so therapeutic. The whole rat race of life…” she chuckles and continues, “No, those days are long gone.” The wisdom gained from getting older has taught her there is no “cookie cutter” life, no rules.

Professionally, Mel also knows about the unrealistic images of women in mass advertisements. “I do editorial photo shoots all the time so I know; everything you see is all smooth… nobody’s that smooth!” she laughs. “It’s all smoke and mirrors. Smoke and mirrors. This campaign is reminding women of their reality; keeping them in touch with reality and letting them know [ageing] is okay, this is real life, you’re a real person, doh beat up.”

Lisa says the number one reason she jumped at the chance to represent the HOAY Campaign is the message of a woman’s unconditional beauty regardless of her situation. “When you love you, you love others better.” She thinks there’s still taboo associated to discussions between women about ageing, and that some women think these problems are theirs alone. “As we share, we realise that’s just part of the beauty of a woman as we age – we embrace it together, laugh about it, and be happy in the space we’re in. As you lose something, you gain something and there’s nothing wrong with getting older. Nothing at all.”

Mel is faithful that the campaign can help women feel courage in their own skins. “You are you and that is your power. There’s nobody else like you. You need to hold on to that and use it to the best of your ability.