The value of naughty names

The reader’s question was “I am a First Secretary, and I have seen my principal (Ambassador) not address other diplomats by name, sometime resulting in an embarrassing scenario. How can I address this without being considered insubordinate?” This is a very realistic and wonderful question as I too, at times, find myself grappling to place names to faces. The scenario presented has the potential to create quite the embarrassing moment, particularly if you are in fact hosting an event – you will not be expected to remember all invitees, however, it certainly helps to ensure you are well prepared.

In my stint within the diplomatic community, as a Parliamentary Secretary of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, on one or two occasions, I was required to represent the Minister of Foreign Affairs at an engagement if he could not make it. Many times, this would be a short notice request, and nevertheless required a significant level of preparation and readiness. I made it a note to ensure that each individual of rank that I met, I would (and should) greet by the appropriate name. How was this done? Here were a few techniques used then: Do you recall the movie The Devil wears Prada? The protagonist’s assistants were required to be at her side to remind her of the names she may have forgotten – this is not a far-fetched scenario. On the occasions I was asked to deputize for my senior, I ensured that I was accompanied by a senior assistant who would have been more acquainted with the diplomatic community, and as such, would be able to assist with the placement of names to faces if the need arose.

This support would be provided in the most discreet manner, leaving the principal (myself) appearing to be in complete control of his/her event – always remember, there is nothing as sweet as the sound of someone’s name to their own ears.

Another technique is repeating the person’s name when first meeting them. This will aid in the process of recall if your paths may cross again. It is simple, meet, greet, and repeat! When meeting someone, it is always helpful to make familiar connections to the person’s face and name, so if you should meet again, the ease of recall happens with ease. Essentially this means that a visual connection can be made with the face to the name, for example, if I met Shirley for the first time, and Shirley has a striking feature, I will use that visual notation for recall, ie striking feature/Shirley with the striking feature.

The use of alliterations sometimes aids in the process of recall. For example, Cool Chris, or Naughty Nicole.

One of the techniques shared with me at the European School of Protocol was to ensure to make little notations at the back of business cards collected, including where you may have met the person, the date, and the event. This really provides a good base as you may be attending a similar event with a similar guest list. It always helps to revisit your collection of call cards and briefly review your notes, as you will become perfectly prepared for your many interactions, and the likelihood exists that many of the persons with whom you may have previously interacted, would be at the same event, giving you a wonderful platform to re-introduce yourself, remember pertinent details of any previous interactions and appear completely prepared.